Mikey Pieces Does the Horoscopes

Aries
Maaan. The Aries doesn't know how to be fake, they are very into their own ways. An Aries doesn't copy people; no matter what the fashion trends are, the Aries dress how they want. The type of person who you can have around three completely different types of people and they will act exactly the same. Not good with finding women, the Aries is very straightforward and this can mess up their fating techniques. The Aries isn't the best guy for a drunken two-man, if the girls are drunk babbling, being stupid, he doesn't put up with it on order to have sex with them later - calls them out on their stupidity.

Taurus
The best mothers. A Taurus is extremely selfless, the Taurus loves to focus on others. I know a Taurus who has a job, where she is the boss of everyone, when others are lazy she does their job for them while still handling her own duties and doesn't even say anything about it. A Taurus would rather see you, - you as in the people they love - be happy than themselves be happy. The Taurus loves to listen to gossip, watch moves and listen to music about other people. People fascinate the Taurus. They are extremely passionate about whatever it is they stand for. A Taurus' opinion on something can never be changed, they don't loose arguments, you just have to give up. Very silly; they think simple things are funny. Not a drama-starter for others but for themselves they love it. If the Taurus doesn't have someone hating on them or somebody to prove wrong they get bored.

Gemini
A brick wall, great at hiding emotions. The girl I like is a Gemini. I couldn't tell if she liked me back I had to straight up ask. When it comes to love, they have to be safe, they won't put their feelings out into the world to be rejected or something. They hate BS, if you're in a life-or-death situation with a Gemini they are going to hold it together 100 per cent. Born smart, they look at situations and can access the feelings of both parties involved. If you need someone to manage your life pick a Gemini. They are going to ride for you, every single one of these May babies are very hilarious: Dean Martin was a Gemini.

Cancer
The sensitive one. The Cancer takes family and friends very seriously and makes sure others are doing OK before they are doing OK. Will give a bum his last dollar type of guy. The Cancer gets so lucky all the time; because of their endless selflessness they have great karma. I know a man who walked onto a film set to be a boxing instructor for an actor. He was so charming though, and was fresh out the penitentiary, that the director chose him to act instead of the professional actor! The luck of the Cancer is insane. Constantly, they are wondering how you're doing, if everything is ok with you - they suck at talking about themselves. Annoying lovers, ha. The love so much it can be overwhelming, but the non-cancers see that, they can't help it, the love blossoms and grows. Great assistants or bodyguards. Cancer is great at taking orders.

Leo
Leos only know extremes. Leos are normally great friends to others. The 'take a bullet' type of friend - and not in a 'I would take a bullet for you' type of way. If someone was shooting a gun in the party the Leo would find you and make himself a human shield. I personally know a Leo who works for a company, the boss of that company made a comment about the Leo's friends tie in the office in confidence to the Leo. Every in the office sucks up to the boss but this Leo looks at his boss and says "Hey, that's not funny." To his boss! Leo's don't care who you are or what it means if your relationship goes sour; if you don't keep it real the Leo has no respect for you. The Leo loves confrontation, any chance at a problem and he'll take it. The Leo is the most passionate lover and coldest at the same time. Leos love to think: think more, feel less is their motto. A Leo will think himself into another dimension of himself he created while thinking so damn hard, ha.

Virgo
Virgos are always a little bit lazy. Great working bees, give them a task and it will be completed to a tee, but try and get them to push their own campaign or task? Forget about it. Always filled with useful information, love to study; maybe not necessarily school but they study something. If a Virgo loves music, they spend Friday nights listening to records. Ridiculously personable, very easy to bring around new friends, Virgos make their presence know but it's not overbearing when they stand in a circle and speak. Virgos are observant; can make a lot of on-point observations about someone's personality after only a few minutes of hanging out. A Virgo would be the best interviewer for a job.

Libra
They're all about longevity. The Libra is the type to always be waiting, hopeful, always have some project or something coming next. There's a libra in my friend group who's mom died (Kevin White - let's stop beating around the bush) and he handled it very well. He had to move out of his house he grew up in; he had to abruptly become an adult with no fallback plans but he did it promptly and precisely and wasted no time in making it happen for himself. He's got his own apartment, a car, and still has time to skate and model. Libras are insanely level headed and logical. Even when they do things that seem crazy, the explanation makes it make sense every time. Great lovers, always in or about to be in a relationship. The Libra deals with emotion very well, nothing overwhelms the Libra. Problems are dealt with poignantly. Libras are always the sense of security in a friendship group. Libras and Leos know how to fight; fight physically and mentally.

Scorpio
Every Scorpio is blindly, no-practice-needed, amazingly talented at something. Kevin Bradley will not skate for 3 months, hop back on his board roll around for 5 minutes and look like he never took a break, he's a real Scorpio, ha. They are always the spokesman for cool in their friend group. The Scorpio loves to act, not think. They make decisions at the drop of a hat, when they pass a window of a store with something they like it's in their last possession 4 minutes later. Scorpios focus on themselves, not in a self-centered way, more in a 'it'll be more fun to hang around me if I'm happy' type of way, ha. The Scorpio is not a reliable person. Their lack of thinking about decisions causes their decision making to be very abrupt, so if they say they are coming somewhere and in the last second hey get a feeling to not go, the don't go. Simple as that, ha. Don't call a Scorpio if you're dying on the streets.

Sagittarius
The Sagittarius doesn't move fast, ever Sagittarius is very calming and almost boring to some people. They are very confident and smart with money. They have a knack for wooing women, they're calm and their sternness reminds women of their father they either had - or never had. The Sagittarius lets his spirit speak for him not his clothes or car. They need nothing to show they are wealthy cause they don't care for you to know they are wealthy. The Sagittarius will have a really nice car and just laugh and quietly say thanks if you end up seeing it after work. They will never make it their priority to let you know something like that. Extremely ambitious, the Sagittarius will work until he's dead. Their confidence causes them to always be true to themselves. They will never do something solely because someone thinks it's a good idea, if they don't feel it, they don't do it.

Capricorn
A born leader. When Capricorns are little kids their influence is so strong that grown men may look at them for mannerisms and style to copy. Capricorns are always calm and quietly confident, the kind of confidence that doesn't need to speak. Capricorns are awkward lovers. The confidence and need to swag makes it hard to let others in. I know a Capricorn who dresses crazy, if you lay his outfits on a bed they look horrible. But when he wears them it's a completely different story.

Aquarius
Very low-key, this paragraph was hard to write because everyone I know who is an Aquarius doesn't like to tell you when it's their birthday, ha. The Aquarius is a slave to routine; they love doing the same thing everyday. They would rather practice something and become very good at it rather than having a bunch of halfway developed different talents. They like to keep their friend group small. When the Aquarius meets new people it takes them a while to start talking about siblings or old stories. Great listeners. If you do a crime, bring an Aquarius, they will never snitch on you 100 per cent. In middle school a kid and I got in an argument over a game of kickball before it could even get physical my buddy Cameron comes out of nowhere and throws a kickball in the other kid's face, directly after the bell rings, we give each other a look, then go inside. Nobody said a word to any teachers, Cameron and victims were both Aquarius.

Pisces
The most secretively sensitive person you've ever met! The Pisces will have a million and one problems with someone/something but would rather just mentally check them off the list than talk it out. The Pisces is sensitive in a 'fuck you' type of way, not a 'get sad and cry' type of way. Because of constantly avoiding conflict the Pisces is usually a great spirit. Halfway thinkers, they don't think too much like Leos, but aren't like the Scorpio: the Scorpio just goes, never thinks but that's another story, ha. These February/March babies have a great talent of giving hope and inspiring others to do something great. Imagine this person, Johnny. Johnny gets double-crossed on a construction job where he is promised the contract by Friend (Friend is the opposing made-up character). When Friend gives another construction company the job, instead of getting mad and arguing, Johnny goes and works hard, ends up getting 10 jobs that were better than the first one and makes a lot of money. Johnny and Friend bump into each other at a party in the town center, Friend says, "Johnny how have you been?" Jonny says: "I've been very successful lately." And Johnny and Friend never have the same relationship but always remain friendly. Ha, that is a Pisces.