Midas Touch

[Verse 1]
Johnny Hundred-Three had wanted to be king
Ever since he was little, he would often sing
About his desires to someday rule Bakwidia
A tiny country in between Australia and Africa
One day, his robot butler went crazy
Johnnys vision suddenly became hazy
When he woke up, he suddenly had the gumption
To become king, simply because his robot malfunctioned

[Chorus]
Johnny doesn't have the Midas touch
What he touch don't turn to gold, it only turns to dust
Johnny doesn't have the Midas touch
He thinks he's brilliant, everyonе else thinks he's nuts
Johnny doеsn't have the Midas touch
What he touch don't turn to gold, it only turns to dust
Johnny doesn't have the Midas touch
He thinks he's brilliant, everyone else thinks he's nuts

[Verse 2]
The War of 2055 was brutal, lots of people died
Only three hundred Bakwidians had survived
They needed a ruler, so in stepped Johnny Hundred-Three
On one fateful day, he declared himeslf king
At first, the people of Bakwidia were grateful
But that didn't last long, they soon became hateful
Johnny was an awful king, he had a ton of flaws
And then he started passing all kinds of weird laws
You weren't allowed to pee more than twice a day
You couldn't drink milk unless it was a holiday
You couldn't drive a car to work, you had to use a magic bird
You were not allowed to use onomatopeic words
Eventually, the citizens were sick of these rules
They were sick of being forced to eat gruel
They tried to chase Johnny out of town on a rail
Johnny threw every single Bakwidian in jail

[Chorus]
Johnny doesn't have the Midas touch
What he touch don't turn to gold, it only turns to dust
Johnny doesn't have the Midas touch
He thinks he's brilliant, everyone else thinks he's nuts
Johnny doesn't have the Midas touch
What he touch don't turn to gold, it only turns to dust
Johnny doesn't have the Midas touch
He thinks he's brilliant, everyone else thinks he's nuts

[Bridge]
Johnny's brother, Derek, tried to talk some sense into him
Johnny relented and freed the Bakwidians
No longer in jail, they demanded he resign
But Johnny said, "Sorry, folks, you know I'm king for life"
The Bakwidians demanded Johnny get rid of his crazy laws
For a moment, Johnny started to pause
His robot butler walked up to him, his system was working again
Johnny resigned from being king at that moment

[Chorus]
Johnny doesn't have the Midas touch
When his robot butler malfunctioned, Johnny gained superpowers
Johnny doesn't have the Midas touch
The power of persuasion, which was how he became king
Johnny doesn't have the Midas touch
His time as king only lasted twelve hours
Johnny doesn't have the Midas touch
Now, if you ask him, he says he never wanted to be king