Micro-songs to wet your whistle (from the void)

[micro-song 1]
If a teach a man how to fish
You can grant his every wish
Especially if that man is a grizzly bear

[micro-song 2]
When sheep get sick
I’m talking really sick
Who else are they supposed to call, but the lambulance?
The lamb, the lamb, the lamb, the lamb, the lamb
The lamb, the lamb, the lamb, the lambulance

[micro-song 3]
I’m at a pool party at my best friends house
We like to wear tee shirts inside the pool
Not because we’re self conscious about our little bodies
But because we like the feeling of slimy wet shirts on our skin
Slimy wet shirts, slimy wet shirts, slimy wet shirts

[micro-song 4]
I don’t know why people celebrate with eggnog for the holidays
It tastes like bubble gum soup

[micro-song 5]
Cats have six nipples
And humans have two
You’ll get fifty dollars if you can guess how many I have inside my backpack

[micro-song 6]
I once caught a thief a cooking shop
Who had a speech impediment
Let’s just say that
He liked to take whisks

[micro-song 7]
Every single time they release another M&M’s flavor
I feel more and more that I’m slowly falling behind

[micro-song 8]
Who are you fooling with your camp shorts?
Who are you fooling with your camp hat?
I can still see you in the McDonald’s
Ordering a Big Mac

[micro-song 9]
Would you ever tell someone with a dairy allergy
To say cheese
And still expect them to smile

[micro-song 10]
I’m not a trained equestrian
But I’m pretty sure that I could teach a horse how to sit

[micro-song 11]
I let my kids play outside underneath the power lines at night
I want them to be mutants

[micro-song 12]
I used to think that I like to cook when really all that I like is a sense of control
Bee-dee-bap-bop-bee-dap-day

[micro-song 13]
I was on a date with this polyglot
I told her, “Man, you’re super hot”
That’s when she called me ugly
Ugly in seven different languages
Like “ères fao”
And “dad’s spaghetti“ I don’t know, it’s Italian