Michael Scott vs Ron Burgundy (CRB #5)

CHAOTIC RAP BATTLES!
MICHAEL SCOTT!
VERSUS!
RON BURGUNDY!
LET'S GO!

[Verse 1: Michael Scott]
Hello, I am Michael Scott! Regional Manager at Dunder Mifflin
If you think you're outrapping the Scranton Branch then you're gonna fall, cuz this bitch is trippin'!
Listen, you just can't compete with wits, I'm funny as shit when I'm popping off hits!
You'll get terminated by the World's Best Boss, bitch step into my fucking office!
Not superstitious, but a little bit viscous when I drop these disses, leaving you in stitches!
You're kind of a dick, but you still get women? Ironic, on the mic you'll have nothing but misses!
I'm running this business, a lyrical genius I'm spitting these wits with efficient precision
When mеssing with Mifflin you best be expеcting I'll deliver an ass-kicking with free shipping!
I'm savage and manage to do maximum damage with every single attack that I landed
You were liked and admired, but then you got fired, when your wife took your job, she was better at it
I've had it with you and Toby too! I'll go and shoot him twice when I win this fight!
So go gather your crew and prepare to lose, Michael Scarn says you're at Threat Level Midnight!

[Verse 2: Ron Burgundy]
Good evening, planet Earth, I'm beloved anchorman, Ron Burgundy
Gonna grill this guy worse than he did his own foot cuz I'll give you burns of the third degree
And it occurred to me that today's top story is me performing lyrical surgery
On a dude who's had 3 vasectomies? (Whipped by Jan!) Now your ass will get whipped by me!
Ron Burgundy is most certainly murdering verbally, pounding this pussy so perfectly!
Honestly? Your rhymes are as dry as your comedy, you wanna beat me? Bitch you need some diversity!
You're not even worthy, you'll never be hurting me, avoiding your hits like I'm rapping in Serpentine
Rich like mahogany, nobody's stopping me, after this you'll wish you never had heard of me!
You're too weak! And even scared to fight! My raps hit you hard like a sucker-punch from Dwight!
With all the sexual harassment comments to women you really should be in Prison, Mike!
These fisticuffs about to mess you up, so you better get tough real quick or else!
Thats gonna do it for my first verse, Ron Burgundy says "Go Fuck Yourself!"

[Verse 3: Michael Scott]
That's what she said! HA! I'm the king of jokes! You win with words? LOL Nope!
Without a teleprompter, you got no hope cuz like on this beat, you'll just fricken' choke!
My flow is nice, I spit as cold as ice, you know I own the mic, Lazy Scranton was right!
You wanna roll the dice and then test your might? You'll gamble your life at my Casino Night!

[Verse 4: Ron Burgundy]
No offence, but you're a stupid asshole! Work for a paper company but not make any of it?
I've seen your paychecks, you broke bitch! Not sure how you got a wife, but I'll show her what love is!
Gonna find your Holly, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight
I wanna be on her all day and night, cuz that honey is looking mighty fine!
Your show is so boring and just disappointing, these guns that I'm showing are always destroying!
And really the only thing you'll ever be good at is annoying the shit out of all your employees!

[Verse 5: Michael Scott]
NO! GOD, PLEASE NO! Did Toby write your jokes? I can't stand anymore!
Dude, your wits are so full of shit, musta got those flows from the toilet store!
Don't start a war that you're not prepared for, I'm more hardcore than all four of you dumb dorks
So here's some news for your ass to report, when I spit this lyrical parkour, you're done for!
I kicked the shit out of you and your little dog too! Left you running scared like when you fought that bear
My dinner party was pretty shitty, but nothing I could do could be as bad as that hair!
All my friends agree: You lost, you jerk! But hey! Thanks for stopping by!
Oh, and 100% of your lines missed the line every single damn time!

[Verse 6: Ron Burgundy]
I'm gonna wreck you worse than the wreck I was in! And when I win, I'll watch Parks and Rec again
You think those people like you? None of them are your friends, when my news team assembles, let the beatings begin!
The level that you're spitting just isn't a competition, when you battle with this, you're gonna get beaten into submission
You're gonna be needing fire safety for the heat that I'm emitting, this little bitch better listen, I'm number one in the division!
Your character is the definition of cringe, and newsflash, man, no one likes the Dundies!
I'm kind of a big deal, but Scott's not! With bars so poor, better declare bankruptcy!
Send an email about this, you dumb shit! This dude's IQ is even lower than Brick's!
Try to stay classy, you overrated prick, turns out your rap skills were as small as your dick!

WHO DO YOU THINK WON? MICHAEL SCOTT OR RON BURGUNDY?
WHO SHOULD BATTLE NEXT?
CHAOTIC RAP BATTLES!