Men

[Opening Dialog]

[Malarky]
Uh, Captain Columbus?

[Captain Columbus]
Yes, Malarky?

[Malarky]
The men haven't eaten in days, sir.

[Captain Columbus]
Yes, Malarky.

[Malarky]
Captain, I don't think you fully understand. I said: the men have not eaten in days now

[Captain Columbus]
I heard you Malarky, thank you.

[Malarky]
Captain, you've gone quite mad! I'm telling you for the last time: the en have not eaten in days.

[Captain Columbus]
Well, force them! You've plenty of men haven't you?

[Malarky]
Plenty, sir.

[Captain Columbus]
Plenty of what, "sir"?

[Malarky]
Men, sir.

[Captain Columbus]
What?

[Malarky]
Men.

[Captain Columbus]
What!?

[Crew]
Men!
Men!
Men!
Men!

[Opening Chorus]
Men Men Men Men
Men Men Men Men
Men Men Men Men
Men Men Men Men

[Verse 1]
(Mmmm)
It's great to be on a ship with men
And sail across the sea-oh
We don't know where we'll land or when
But it's great to be with men!
(It's great to be with men!)

Cuz men can sweat
And men can stink
And no one seems to care-o
We'll throw the dishes in the sink
And clog the drain with hair-o
(Clog the drain with hair-o)

[Chorus 1]
Men Men Men
It's a ship all filled with men
So baton down the ladies' room.
There's no one here but...

Men Men Men Men
Men Men Men Men

[Verse 2]
(Mmmm)
There's men above
There's men below
There's men down in the galley
There's Butch
And Spike
And Buzz
And Biff
And one guy we call Sally!
(And one guy we call Sally!)

[Chorus 2]
Men Men Men
It's a ship all filled with men
You'll never have to lift the seat
There's no one here but...

Men Men Men Men
Men Men Men Men

[Verse 3]
(Mmmm)
We're men and friends
until the end
And none of us are sissies
At night we sleep in separate beds
And blow each other kissies!
(And blow each other *gasp* kissies!)

[Chorus 3]
Men Men Men
It's a ship all filled with men
So throw your rubbers overboard
There's no one here but men!

Aaaa-men!