Member Berries

Title SequenceINT. SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - THE GYM

Announcer #1: "Hello everyone and welcome back. We are live at South Park Elementary school, where the local girls volletbal team is about to take on the Jefferson Sabors."

Announcer #2: "And, Jim, it is a packed. Sell our crowd tonight, the first time in team history. Everyone turning out to see what's gonna happen."

Announcer #1: "That's right, Mike, all eyes tonight are of course on 4th grader Nichole Daniels. Will she sit or stand for the national anthem? This week with athletes all over the country sitting down for the national anthem, the question on everyone's mind is, what is this little girl gonna do?"

Jimbo: "She's not gonna sit down. Why would she?"

Randy: "Screw that. I got a hundred bucks riding on this. Come on, Nichole! Sit it out!"

Man: "Now please rise for the national anthem."

Randy: "This is it!"

"The Star-Spangled Banner" plays.

Announcer #2: "The national anthem starts. Nichole Daniels seems to be waiting. So far no sign of... Oh, and Heidi Turner is sitting down!"

The crowd gasping.

Announcer #1: "Mike, this is totally unexpected. All eyes were on Nichole when Heidi Turner comes out of nowhere and sits down for..."

Announcer #2: "And there goes Meagan Ridley! The crowd is going wild. What a turn of events. Let's check in with Dave."

A reporter in the crowd: "Ed and Mike, I've just looked at the girls' Twitter accounts, and it appears they are sitting out on the national anthem to protest all the herassment and trolling they receive on the Internet."

Announcer #1: "Complete surprise, Dave. Nobody saw this coming. Three girls now sitting down and, and finally there goes Nichole. Wow!"

Randy shouting from the tribune: "Yeah, hundred bucks!"

Announcer #2: "And now as the anthem draws to a close, this thing is over. The final result, four athletes sitting out on the national anthem. Three of them not even black. A shocker here in South Park. Thanks for joining us."

The crowd is leaving the gym.

Stephen to Linda and Butters, as they leave: "Oh my God, that was great!"

Referee: "Uh, play ball."

The whistle blows and the volleybal match begins.

CUT TO: PC PRINCIPLE'S OFFICE

PC Principal: "All right, ladies. First of all, I want to say that I completely respect your decision to protest our national anthem. I thought it was sweet. I believe you shed some light on some very important issues regarding gender equality."

Heidi: "What are you doing about Eric Cartman?"

PC Principle: "Ladies, I understand you're upset about the trolling you've received on the Internet. But there is no evidence that Eric is skankhunt42."

Wendy: "It is him. It's completely obvious and nobody's doing anything about it."

PC Principle: "Well, he claims that he's been working at changing himself and the world around him. Clicks on his phone Send in Mr. Cartman."

Eric Cartman walks into the office.

Eric: "You wanted to see, PC Principle?"

PC Principle: "Mr. Cartman, I'm gonna ask you one more time. Are you or are you not the Internet troll skankhunt42?"

Eric: "It's skank-hunt42, and no, I am not."

Heidi: "He's lying. Make him show you his phone."

Eric: "Unfortunately, that'd be a breach of my civil rights. But I can assure you, nobody respected you girls' poignant protests more than I did."

INT. UNITED STATES CAPITOL, WASHINGTON - CHAMBER OF THE U.S. SENATE

Senate member #1: "Fellow Senators, our nation is divided like never before. While people everywhere fight for their voices to be heard, perhaps it is time for us to consider that our national anthem needs to be changed. Americans need an anthem that inspires and excites, an anthem that has something for everyone, while still paying tribute to what it once was. I believe there's only one person capable of archiving this: J.J. Abrams."

Man: "Oh, J.J. Abrams!"

All murmuring.

Senate member #1: "He saved "Star Wars" and now we will ask him to save our country."

Dramatic music plays.

EXT. PACIFIC PALISADES, LOS ANGELES - J.J. ABRAMS' HOUSE

Two helicopters land in front of J.J. Abrams villa. A few members of the senate wait in front of the gate of Abrams' house.

Senate member #2 talks in megaphone: "Mr. Abrams? Mr. Abrams, we need to speak with you."

Senate member #3: "Look there."

Senate member #2: "Mr. Abrams, I speak on behalf of Americans everywhere. We've come to ask you to reboot the national anthem. Please, Mr. Abrams, we know you've been asked to reboot a lot."

Senate member #4 whispers: "We know you're tired."

Senate member #2: "We know you're tired."

Senate member #1 takes away the megaphone and speaks in it: "What do you say, sir? We all want something new but that makes us remember the things we've loved. We want to member. We need your memberberries!"

Senate member #3 whispers: "One light means yes. Two lights means no."

J.J. Abrams puts on one light and the Senate members are all cheering.

INT. SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - THE GYM

Eric is speeching in front of his fellow students.

Eric talks in a microphone: "Hello students, as you know, an Internet troll by the name of skankhunt42 has been herassing women and girls by making degrading comments on our school message board. The girls are very upset, and many male students that it's just because girls don't have a sense of humor. I beg to disagree. Girls rule. Women are funny. Get over it. Just the other day, in the hallway, I heard two male students saying how the new "Ghostbusters" sucked balls. I was shocked and appalled. It is time for us to realize and accept that girls are cool and women are funny. Wendy? Wendy, could you come up here, please? Come on up, Wendy, Wendy Testaburger, guys."

The students applaud and Wendy walks to Eric.

Eric: "Wendy, go ahead. Be funny."

Wendy says nothing.

Eric: "Say something funny, Wendy. We can't wait."

Wendy talks in the microphone: "I'm not funny."

Eric: "Hey, girls are funny Wendy, okay? Get over it. Just do women's comedy stuff, you know, talk about how you fat you are and how you want sex with guys and then say "my vagina!" a lot."

Wendy: "I don't feel like being funny right now."

Eric: "And that just the kind of sexist bull crap that's gonna keep you in the kitchen. Sit your ass down."

Wendy sits down again.

Eric: "This isn't a joke, you guys. Girls are funny. Bebe, why don't you come up here? Come on, Bebe."

Wendy shouts from the tribune: "No!"

Eric: "No?"

Eric walks to Bebe.

Eric: "Come on, talk about having sex with guys and say "vagina!" and stuff like that. Go ahead. Girls rule. Women are funny. Bebe, get over yourself, seriously."

Bebe: "Get the mic out of my face!"

Eric: "Oh my God, that wasn't really all that funny. That's weird. Uhm... Let's see. Red, you've got any of these zingers for the crowd? No? How about you, Nelly?"

Nelly: "Yeah, I got one. You're a fat fuck!"

Butters is laughing out loud.

Eric: "'Kay, that wasn't really funny. It was just angry."

Nelly: "You see, what the problem is, is that when a little troll is allowed to say anything he wants anonymously, then he speaks for all of you boys."

Eric: "'Kay, that's good. Now, just try and say it a little bit funnier now."

Nelly: "Go ahead and get on our school message board and see what he's been saying about us. Then see if you guys think it's funny."

Stan and Kyle look at each other.

Eric: "Okay, and then, and then, and then just go "my vagina!"."

MARSH FAMILY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

CNN news presenter on television: "And as our country seems to be more and more divided, the only hope is that J.J. Abrams' new national anthem will appeal to everyone and bring back those nostalgic memberberries we know and love."

Randy: "Oh, great. Everything's getting a reboot now."

Someone knocks on the door.

Man: "Hello, sir. I'm with the Gallup poll. We're trying to get a read on how people will be voting in the upcoming presidential election."

Randy: "Oh. Oh, okay."

Man: "Great. And will you be voting for the Giant Douche or the Turd Sandwich?"

Randy: "Well, this is usually a Giant Douche household, but we are going firmly with the Turd Sandwich."

Man: "Oh, the Turd Sandwich, huh?"

Randy: "That's right. You can put my wife and I both down for Turd Sandwich."

Man: "Well, good luck with that. So far, Giant Douche is leading in the polls."

Dramatic notes play

Randy: "What?"

CUT TO: MARSH FAMILY HOUSE - DINNER TABLE

Randy: "What the hell is wrong with people? They really think that a Giant Douche should be president? It's insane!"

Sharon: "Why you'd say that I'd be voting for Turd Sandwich, Randy? You haven't even talked to me about it."

Randy: "You can't possibly be thinking about voting for the douche."

Stan groans.

Randy to Stan: "What's wrong with you?"

Stan: "I just don't understand why every four years you people freak out over whether to vote for a Giant Douche of a Turd Sandwich."

Randy: "Because we're Americans. 'Cause this is America."

Stan: "Why are we doing this again? Why are we back to Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich?"

Randy singing: "Cynical... Cynical man!"

Randy, now serious: "You just think everything and everyone is dumb, huh? 'Cause you're a kneelist?"

Stan: "It's nihilist."

Randy: "See? You're such a nihilist."

INT. NEWS BROADCASTING

CNN news presenter: "The newest Gallup poll results are in, and they show Giant Douche [Mr. Garrison] to be leading Turd Sandwich by nearly 10%. Turd Sandwich [Hillary Clinton] has said there is no need to panic."

CUT TO: CLINTON PRESS ROOM

Hillary Clinton: "Polls are of course a useful tool, but they can often be misleading. Our campaign is holding strong."

Journalist #1: "Mrs. Sandwich!"

Hillary Clinton: "Yes, Arthur."

Journalist #1: "Well, Mrs. Sandwich, do you believe that your opponent will gain any momentum from this poll?"

Hillary Clinton: "I'm sure that like me, Giant Douche realizes that polls are never the final answer."

INT. MR. GARRISON CAMPAIGN OFFICE

Mr. Garrison and Caitlyn Jenner dancing to "Cake By The Ocean".

Mr. Garrison: "Yeah! Suck that poll, you dumb bitch! Up 10%, can you believe that shit?"

Mr. Garrison sits down at the table.

Mr. Garrison: "Oh Caitlyn, I think we're really gonna win this thing. Think about it. In a couple of months, I will be president of the United States."

Mr. Garrison puts the music out.

Mr. Garrison: "Caitlyn, can I ask you something? Uh, when we actually get into the White House, like, uhm, what are we gonna do?"

Caitlyn: "What do you mean?"

Mr. Garrison: "Well I mean, like, you know, once we're president and vice president like, what do we do then?"

Caitlyn: "How the fuck should I know?"

Mr. Garrison: "Cait, you, you heard about the poll, right? We're probably gonna win. Don't tell me you don't have a plan!"

Caitlyn: "What plan? I thought you had a plan!"

Mr. Garrison: "I don't have any fucking plan! That's why I have you! I'm gonna be the president and you're gonna be in charge of all foreign and domestic policies!"

Caitlyn: "I thought you were gonna do that part."

Mr. Garrison: "Are you telling me that we're about to be voted into office, and we have no idea what the fuck we're gonna do?!"

Dramatic notes play.

Mr. Garrison: "Oh, geez!"

SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - MR. MACKEY'S OFFICE

Kyle: "I think they called it "German collective guilt", right? Where even the Germans who just did nothing while Hitler rose to power were, were maybe somehow also responsible?"

Mr. Mackey: "Mm-hmm. M'kay. M'kay."

Kyle: "But I can't control what Cartman does, so why should I feel shame for what Cartman does?"

Mr. Mackey: "Well, J.J. Abrams is rebooting the national anthem, Kyle, so everything's gonna be fine, m'kay?"

Kyle: "I don't think the answer to all this is memberberries."

Mr. Mackey: "You don't like mem-memberberries?"

Kyle groans: "Never mind. I'm just gonna stay out of it."

Kyle walks out of the office and closes the door. Mr. Mackey opens the cupboard of his writing desk and picks up a jar with memberberries.

Memberberry #1: "'Member Chewbacca?"

Memberberry #2: "Yeah, a-a-and 'member AT-TAs?"

Memberberry #3: "'Member?"

Memberberry #4: "Hey, hey! 'Member "Ghostbusters"?"

Memberberry #5: "Oh, I 'member! 'Member Slimer?"

Memberberry #6: "Oh, I loved Slimer!"

Memberberry #7: "'Member?!"

Mr. Mackey: "How could someone think these things are bad?"

Memberberrries all talking. Mr. Mackey eats one of them.

INT. TELEVISION STUDIO - THE COMMANDER OF THE CHIEF FORUM

Interviewer: "The Commander in Chief Forum, with a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich."

The audience applauds.

Interviewer: "Back now with the Commander in Chief Forum. I am joined by the Republican nominee, a Giant Douche."

Mr. Garrison: "Thanks, Matt."

Interviewer: "Mr. Douche, some say you don't actually have a viable plan in place if you were to be elected president."

Mr. Garrison laughs: "Oh, well, well, who said that? The Turd Sandwich?"

Interviewer: "In your campaign, you said that you will deal with our country's immigrants and enemies by personally "fucking them all to death". How do you plan to actually achieve that?"

Mr. Garrison: "Well, Matt, I don't think I said I would fuck them all to death."

Interviewer: "Oh, well, let's roll the tape on that."

Mr. Garrison: "Well, sure, okay."

A video is played on a television in the studio. We see Mr. Garrison to the kindergartners: "Well, there's only only one immigration policy that I believe in, and that's fuck them all to death!" Mr. Garrison to a journalist: "Fuck them all to death. Let's make this country great again." The audience during the 2015 Presidential Debate: "Fuck them all to death!" Mr. Garrison during a campaign speech: "And then I'm gonna take all the drug pushers in our country, and I'm gonna fuck them!" Mr. Garrison during another campaign speech: "And you know those people in Syria? I'm gonna fuck them." During another speech: "That's why I will make sure that every terrorist on Earth is fucked dead!" Mr. Garrison tells the audience during another speech: "The leaders of North Korea, I'll fuck them all!" Mr. Garrison partying: "Yeah! Yeah!" Mr. Garrison during a speech: Criminals in our jails - fucking dead! A day after..." Mr. Garrison during a campaign speech: "Yeah! Those ads that are trying to kill us? I'll fuck anyone in the advertising business, and they'll die, too!"

Interviewer: "So, by our estimates, it's roughly 7.6 million people you have promised to fuck to death in your first year of office."

Mr. Mackey: "Uh-huh, okay."

Interviewer: "And, and you think that's achievable?"

Mr. Mackey: "I do. I do, Matt. Uh, I mean... I'm not gonna just get elected, you know, and, and look like a jackass."

Mr. Mackey chuckles nervously.

Mr. Mackey: Oh, geez...

SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - KINDERGARTEN

Teacher: "All right, kids. Today, we have a very special treat. One of the older students has written an original children's story and is gonna read it to you. Come on over, Eric."

Eric walks into the classroom.

Eric: "Hi, guys! Are you all ready to hear a story?"

The children: "Yeah! Yeah!"

Eric: "This was a book I created all with my imagination. It's called "Little Red Riding Kyle: the Story of a Little Gay Boy and His Adventure with Four Hilarious Women"."

Eric reads: "One day, Little Red Riding Kyle was walking through the the forest, thinking about guys." He turns the page around. "He was on his way to visit his grandma who was a little black boy named Token. Get over it." Eric turns the page around. "But then, a big, bad wolf, who was a hilarious woman named Janet, walked into the house and said "I have a large vagina!" and traded place..."

Kyle takes Eric out of the class into the hallway and slams the door.

Kyle: "What the hell are you doing?!"

Eric: "Rebooting fairy tales to try and ease the friction caused by Internet trolls."

Kyle: "You really think you're fooling anyone with this fake persona? Everyone knows you're acting this way by day so you can be horrible to people on the Internet at night!"

Eric: "Why would I do that, Kyle?"

Kyle: "I don't really care! Just don't drag me into it!"

Kyle takes away Eric's book and slams it to the ground.

EXT. SOUTH PARK - SKEETER'S BAR AND COCKTAILS

CUT TO: THE BAR

Randy, Stephen and Jimbo sit at the bar.

Randy upset: "What is wrong with people, huh? How can they vote against a Turd Sandwich more than a Giant Douche?! It's senseless!"

Stephen: "Randy, you got to calm down."

Randy shakes up Stephen: "How can I be in a time like this?! People actually think a turd is worse than a douche!"

Stephen: "Look, maybe you need some supplements to help calm your nerves. Have you heard of memberberries?"

Randy: "Memberberries?"

Stephen: "It's a new super fruit that helps you mellow out and relax."

INT. STOTCH FAMILY HOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM

Stephen opens a cupboard, takes out a box and opens it.

Memberberries, all talking: "'Member "The Fugitive"? 'Member "Akira"? 'Member "The Alien Nation"?"

Stephen: "The guys at work told me about them. Been taking them about six months now. I'm telling you, they really take the edge off."

Memberberries, all talking: "'Member explorers? The little kids in a spaceships? 'Member stormtroopers? 'Member?"

Randy: "Oh, they're adorable."

Memberberries, all talking: "'Member the "Millennium Falcon"?"

Randy eats one memberberry.

INT. MR. GARRISON CAMPAIGN OFFICE

Mr. Garrison: "Come on, people, I need answers! Real solutions! You're my advisers, for Christ's sake! How do we do this?!"

Adviser #1: "Maybe if you swam in a pool in Florida, you could contract the Zika virus. Then you fuck all the people you can and hope they eventually die."

Mr. Garrison: "That would take way too long! And there's no guarantee every pool in Florida has Zika!"

Adviser #2: "Could you use nuclear weapons, then fuck all the bodies after the fact."

Mr. Garrison sits down and groans: "What the hell do I do? If I win I won't be able to do what I promised. But every day I keep going up in the polls. Why did the Democrats have to elect such a Turd Sandwich?"

Caitlyn: "Maybe you should just quit."

Mr. Garrison: "If I quit, I look like a total jackass."

Mr. Garrison stands up and walks to a poster of an donkey with Hillary's face.

Mr. Garrison: "If I win the election... I look like a total jackass. I have to keep running, but I have to make sure she wins." He points at Hillary's face.

Dramatic notes play.

SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - THE LOCKERS

Butters laughs: "You guys see what skankhunt42 did on the school server now." He chuckles: "He Photoshopped a picture of Heidi Turner's mom with a dick in her mouth!"

Craig: "I want to see."

Butters: "Look! There's Wendy's mom with a dick in her mouth, too?!"

Jimmy walks to Butters and chuckles.

Kyle: "God damn it! Do you guys even care how this makes the girls feel?"

Craig: "We didn't do it."

Kyle: "We all know who did. And if we don't do something, then the girls will eventually retaliate against us."

Eric screaming and sobbing, he covers his face with his hand: "Help! Help me!"

Butters: "Eric, what happened?!"

Eric: "A bunch of girls, they cornered me at the gym! They say all boys needed to pay! They kicked me, and they hit me, and they held me down, and they drew this vagina on my face! They said it was to send a message!"

Clyde: "That's a vagina?"

Eric points at his face: "Yeah, see? Here's the top of the vagina, and there's the balls. It's starting, you guys! None of us are safe anymore!" [Kyle loses interest, as of Cartman's foolishness.]

Kyle: [flatly] "I didn't know vaginas had balls."

Eric: "Yeah, no, they do. Vaginas totally have balls, right?"

Kyle: "You're just trying to start a war, aren't you?"

Eric: "What do you mean? If vaginas don't have balls, what do they have?"

Kyle: "It's not gonna work, Cartman! I'm not gonna let you divide boys and girls in this school anymore! When this whole thing comes to a head, you're gonna be all on your own."

Kyle walks away.

INT. MR. GARRISON CAMPAIGN OFFICE

Mr. Garrison: "Hello, sir. How are you today? I'm calling from the campaign for president, just seeing, uh, if I can get your support for Hillary Clinton today? Yes, I know she's a Turd Sandwich, but, you know, if, if you look past that, you know, she, she really has a lot to offer. Well, I hear you, but, you know, sometimes in life you just got to suck a turd, you know? Hello?"

Mr. Garrison smashes the phone down.

Mr. Garrison: "Damn it! This is impossible! Are you having any success, Caitlyn?"

Caitlyn: "I've tried to get people on board, but she's just a Turd Sandwich. You're just have to do something awful to throw the election."

Mr. Garrison: "Every time I try to do something awful, people just get more stoked on me! It's impossible to piss people off anymore!"

News presenter: "This is breaking news! The moment has arrived. It is here. J.J. Abrams says he has finished the new national anthem."

Mr. Garrison to Caitlyn: "Turn it up."

News presenter: "The anthem is sure to be fresh and exciting, while recapturing the moments we all knew and loved. Democratic nominee Turd Sandwich says she will be in attendance to show her support for the rebooted anthem."

Mr. Garrison: "Oh, geez."

News presenter: "Let's all hope that this new anthem puts our differences aside and unites this nation once again."

Mr. Garrison: "That's it, Cait. That's what I have to do. I'm gonna sit out the national anthem on live television. Then everyone will have to vote for that Turd Sandwich."

MARSH FAMILY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

Randy lies on the couch with a bunch of memberberries in his hand.

Memberberries, all talking: "'Member Spock? Yeah! 'Member tricorders? I 'member! 'Member that?! Yeah! 'Member?! Oh, and 'member Bionic Man?"

Randy, high: "Oh, I 'member."

Memberberry #1: "I loved Bionic Man."

He picks the memberberry and eats it.

Randy: "Mmm."

Memberberries, all talking: "'Member Chewbacca again? Oh, I love to 'member Chewbacca! 'Member? 'Member that?! Hey, 'member when there weren't so many Mexicans? Oh! I 'member."

Randy: "Wait, what?"

Memberberries: Yeah, yeah, yeah! 'Member when marriage was just between a man and a woman. I 'member! Ooh, I 'member! Oh, yeah!

Randy: "Yeah, I 'member that. Wait."

Memberberries: "'Member feeling safe? 'Member no ISIS? 'Member Reagan? Ooh! I 'member! Ooh, 'member?! Ooh, 'member?!"

Randy spits: "What the fuck's going on with these memberberries?"

BROFLOVSKI FAMILY HOME - BATHROOM

Kyle sits on the toilet and playing on his phone. Someone knocks on the door.

Kyle: "Yeah?"

Eric stands in the doorway.

Eric: "Hey, Broship. Got a minute?"

Kyle: "What are you doing here?"

Eric: "You were right, Kyle, okay? I drew the vagina on my face. I tried to fool people, but you keenly noticed my one tiny in that girls don't have balls."

Kyle, angry: "I'm going to the bathroom."

Eric: "Kyle, you have to try and appreciate what I'm doing. I know that a war is coming between us and the girls. I knew it the moment they sat out the national anthem."

Kyle: "They sat it out because you were herassing them online!"

Eric: "Suppose for one second that I'm not skankhunt42 and that I really have been doing what I'm doing to try and stop the damage he has done."

Kyle: "Why would you care?"

Eric: "Because I'm scared, Kyle. Don't know if you noticed, but race wars are back, and now if we get gender wars, too?"

Kyle: "If we could just prove who the troll was, then the girls wouldn't be wanting a war, would they?"

Eric: "Yeah, but you can't track down an Internet troll. It's too bad."

Kyle: "Just know this, Cartman - I'm going to prove who skankhunt42 is, whatever it takes. Everyone is going to know, and skankhunt is gonna pay for everything he's ever said."

LEVI'S STADIUM, SANTA CLARA

Announcer #1: "Hello, everyone. We are live at tonight's game between the 49ers and the Panthers. But of course what everyone is really here for - the unveiling of the new national anthem, rebooted by J.J. Abrams."

Announcer #2: "And, Mike, this new anthem is said to have everything the old one had, but some new surprises, as well. You'd have to be an absolute asshole not to stand and support it."

Announcer #1: "This is such a big night for America that both presidential candidates are here. There you can see the Turd Sandwich waving to all four people excited by her, and there is the Giant Douche doing the same."

Mr. Garrison to Caitlyn: "When I sit down to not support this thing, I'm sure to lose this election."

Man: "Ladies and gentleman..."

Mr. Garrison: "Here it is!"

Announcer #1: "And the anthem begins, let's hope this fixes America."

Man: "For our national anthem, we now ask you all in solidarity to please rise..."

Everyone rises, Mr. Garrison as well, but then he sits down.

Man: "...or sit, or take a knee in order to honor America."

"The Star-Spangled Banner" plays.

Mr. Garrison: "Wait. Uh, wait, what? Wait?!"

Mr. Garrison don't know if he needs to sit or stand.

Announcer #2: "Oh! And J.J. Abrams has absolutely shattered expectations, Mike!"

Announcer #1: "Now, whether people are standing, sitting, or kneeling, they are all honoring America. J.J. Abrams is a wizard, Tom, a wizard!"

Announcer #2: "More people sitting now as Abrams has made it irrelevant. Who saw this coming? And there's the rest of the anthem, all the parts we remembered and loved. J.J. Abrams has fixed America."

Mr. Garrison: "No! This was supposed to - oh! Oh, geez!"

CUT TO: TESTABURGER FAMILY HOME - LIVING ROOM

Wendy is watching the broadcast, but then walks away.

CUT TO: STEVENS FAMILY HOME - BEBE'S BEDROOM

Bebe is watching the broadcast, but she then clicks it off.

CUT TO: DANIELS FAMILY HOME - LIVING ROOM

Nichole is watching the broadcast with her parents. Her parents both stand for the national anthem, but Nichole sits on the couch. She also walks away.

INT. BROFLOVSKI FAMILY HOUSE - KYLE'S BEDROOM

Kyle lies on bed, his father opens the door.

Gerald: "Hey, Kyle. You okay, son?"

Kyle: "Yeah, dad. Just thinking."

Gerald: "Well, I'll be in my office if you want to talk."

Gerald closes the door.

CUT TO: HALLWAY

Gerald walks through the hallway to his office.

CUT TO: GERALD'S OFFICE

Gerald clicks the music on and sits behind his desk. He pours in a glass of red wine. Then he opens the South Park Elementary message board and logs in as 'skankhunt42'.

Dramatic music plays

End Credits