MDE

[Verse 1]
Hello, hello, hello, so nice to meet you
My name is tired, just look at my eyes
I'd rather be anywhere than talking to
Oh, you've got a dog and play golf on weekends?
Please tell me more, I love a bore
Can't wait to be friends
Help, I think my eyes are stuck to the ceiling
They might've rolled out of control
Right when you mansplained your own way into a
Grave of stocks and shares and pornstar martinis
Please pass a shovel and some dirt, this man's still breathing

[Pre-Chorus]
I called emergency services to get me
I couldn't get a word in because he wouldn't let me

[Chorus]
Who said that there's fun in conversation?
You dress it up like it's modern day ejaculation
And a-woop, there goes my little bit of patience
You could've come, but now the train has left the station

[Post-Chorus]
Ooh-ah, ah-ah-ah
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Ooh-ooh

[Verse 2]
Goodbye, auf wiedersehen, arrivederci
No, I wouldn't like your number, please and merci
Oh, have mercy on me
Can you take a hint? Would you like a mint? (Ah)
Think I need a respirator 'cause your mouth is full of shit

[Pre-Chorus]
I called emergency services to get me
They get a lot of calls, but they know this man will end me

[Chorus]
Who said that there's fun in conversation?
You dress it up like it's modern day ejaculation
And a-woop, there goes my little bit of patience
You could've come, but now the train has left the station
You said can we try to cut the tension?
I'm looking 'round the room to find the tension that you mention
Yeah, take a break from all the condescension
How you're not a virgin is beyond my comprehension

[Post-Chorus]
Ooh-ah, ah-ah-ah
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ah, ah-ah-ah
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Ooh-ooh

[Bridge]
M, D, E
M, D, E

[Verse 3]
Emma got a call on her phone tonight
From a divorcee (D) on an E-Lime bike (E)
He's done a lot of coke in an All Bar One (M)
Yeah, there's someone home (D)
But the lights aren't on (E)
I know that she's tired and she wants her bed (M)
But she can't say no (D) to a (E) fuckboy's text
Lying in her shame in his unwashed sheets (M)
A Lothario (D) where his girlfriend sleeps (E)
Keeps it short and sweet like he's in a rush (M)
Yeah, it's not that deep (D) and it's not that fun (E)
Screaming in his ear, "Can you please slow down?" (M)
'Cause there's no one here (D) getting off right now (E)
Off right now
Off right now

[Chorus]
Who said that there's fun in conversation?
You dress it up like it's modern day ejaculation (Oh)
And a-woop, there goes my little bit of patience
You could've come, but now the train has left the station
You said can we try to cut the tension?
I'm looking 'round the room to find the tension that you mention
Yeah, take a break from all the condescension
How you're not a virgin is beyond my comprehension

[Post-Chorus]
Ooh-ah, ah-ah-ah (Oh)
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ah, ah-ah-ah (Oh yeah)
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Ooh-ooh

[Outro]
Okay, class (Yes, Miss Davies)
Shall we teach them all what we've learnt in school today?
"(Trash equals men)"
That's right!
And while l've got your attention never trust a man with a strawberry daiquiri who's out in Canary Wharf
Ooh-ooh