Matador

I hate the way that I think
I hate the way that my mind moves it’s way around everything
Splashing my face in the sink
Think that I need holy water that’s not what I got in my drink though
Red and white spilled on the bathrobe
Bout to get the wrong end of the rifle
From myself
Need some help
Don’t want my brain to splatter on a shelf
Need some wealth
So I can get through it
Movin my body to music
Movin my finger away from the trigger
Cause I know that I’m bout to lose it
And I know that
I could do better if not for the weather
If not for this headache I’m praying that it fucking
Goes away soon so that I can think clearly cause
As it stands right now I can’t even see any
Thing in my vicinity through these tears streaming
Down my face shaking with fear
Someone hold me please

Cause I can’t do this anymore
Shut the door
Turn the lights off
I’m fighting a war
Matador
With my minds thoughts
I’m Spiraling round and round
Can’t get myself up off of the ground
I can’t hear that sound again

The yelling incessant
The swelling excessive
The headache in my skull is unpleasant
And isn’t relenting
I won’t be leaving this room again
Sorry friend
At least not on my own
Two feet

I hate the way that I feel
You feel?
The pain is abundant and real
I’ll kill
The source of this pain
Though it might be my brain
Even still I will slit it with steel
Ever-y day I get out of bed
Forgot to take my meds
Guess I have to get up and do this shit again
Seems never ending
Groundhog Day life trending
Bill Murray come take your best shot at ghost busting my
Demons
Gimme some freedom
Way more than one bull in this colosseum
Wish I could see ‘em
So I could put up a fight
I don’t care how hard it is turn the light
On
Before I’m
Gone

I don’t wanna make sad music
Just wanna be dropping hits and makin people lose it
Instruments tuning
Gotta make it sound right
You would do anything for a motherfuckin Klondike
(why not me) *high pitched heavy panned vocals*
I’m twice as sweet
As any Applebee’s treat
That you see
You can’t even afford a piece of me
Key lime on the line that’s decent -C
Vitamin in the citrus
You don’t wanna miss this

To a place near you
Redfoo don’t got half the moves that I do
But it’s cool
I still lmfao
I don’t wanna hear my song on the R-a-d-I-o
Cause all these hipster fucks
Who grab their junk
Will message me and say I suck
But I’m outta luck
I’ve only got a couple bucks
So I’ve decided that I just don’t give a fuck
Couldn’t give a fuck less if I tried
Hard to fix a problem when you’re looking at the world blind
Seeing with your eyes closed
Trying not to spiral
Don’t wannna look at the bottom think I’d rather die tho
I don’t wanna fall slow
Got a lot of cargo
Even with all that don’t got the gas to make the car go
But I know I’m tryna get out of here but I can’t
I’m stuck wearing all these goddamn pants I don’t know