Mary and Brad (The Zombie Apocalypse Isn’t So Bad)

Started out like any other day
The people went to work without any delays
Including Brad, Brad the accountant
Brad was sick of numbers but he didn't care
As long as his boss gave him his well earned share
It sucked so bad, nothing too special about it

Mary died of TB in 1912
And in 100 years her teeth fell out and skin turned blue
Her life was sad, nobody'd ever doubt it

But a century passed and it brang her back
And her cold hand brushed right up and felt the plaque
That had been placed there in her memory
Here lies our dear Mary

If you can't find true love
Maybe you were too late
Perhaps underground rests your soulmate
The zombie apocalypse isn't so bad
This is the story of Mary and Brad

TV flicked on and the newsman spoke
About how the gate to the cemetery some how broke
It was so weird, 'cause dead people stay dead, right?

Well that wasn't the case, Mary hobbled along
And all the people on the sidewalk thought this is so wrong
She was so feared, but all she wanted was light

Brad saw her and he had a heart attack
Hoped he wasn't just a bloody necrophiliac
Closer she neared, because he had caught her sight

She said I like eating people, and I like brains a lot
But Brad I'll spare your life because I think you're pretty hot
With discipline and self control I think I could love your human soul

If you can't find true love
Maybe you were too late
Perhaps underground rests your soulmate
The zombie apocalypse isn't so bad
This is the story of Mary and Brad
Mary and Brad
Mary and Brad

Never mind scratch that
Mary ate Brad
Mary ate Brad
Mary ate Brad

Well you know zombies their a selfish breed
And hey nutrition is just one of Mary's basic needs
And either way she had an undead boyfriend

Soon the whole world's future wasn't looking well
At least conspiracy theorists proved 2012
Before the same, witness their whole lives bend

Eventually the zombies popped up everywhere
And they eliminated everybody sur la terre
It's fair to say it really had been the end

Sometimes Mary remembered Brad
His contribution to the takeover sure made her glad
Though none of their brief love was real
She thanked him for the lovely meal

If you can't find love
Sorry you were too late
Don't look underground for your soulmate
Because the dead don't want love I must add
I'm sorry dear friends but Mary ate Brad
Mary ate Brad
Mary ate Brad

And here ends the story of Mary and Brad
Mary and Brad
Mary and Brad