Marilyn Monroe (1995 London Cast Version)

[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
Once, I 'ad an 'usband
You know the sorta chap
I met 'im at a dance
And how he came on with the chat

[spoken]
[MR JOHNSTONE]
Are ya dancin'? I think you're a bleedin' cracker!

[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
He said me eyes were deep blue pools
Me skin as soft as snow

[spoken]
[MR JOHNSTONE]
Lovely!

[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
He told me I was sexier than Marilyn Monroe
And we went dancin'
We went dancin'
Then, of course, I found that I was six weeks overdue

[spoken]
[MR JOHNSTONE]
???

[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
We got married at the registry
And then we had a do
We all 'ad curly salmon sandwiches
And 'ow the ale did flow

[spoken]
[ALL]
Cheers!

[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
The bride they said was lovelier than Marilyn Monroe

[ALL]
And we went dancin'
We went dancin'

[MRS JOHNSTONE]
Then the baby came along
We called him

[spoken]
[MR JOHNSTONE]
Darren Wayne

[COMPANY]
Aww!

[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
Then three months on I found that I was in the club again

[spoken]
[MR JOHNSTONE]
I've married a bleedin' rabbit!

[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
And though I still fancied dancin'
Me husband wouldn't go

[spoken]
[MR JOHNSTONE]
Get lost, will ya?

[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
With a wife he said
Was twice the size of Marilyn Monroe
No more dancin'
No more dancin'

By the time that I was twenty-five
I looked like forty-two
With seven hungry mouths to feed
And one more nearly due
Me husband, he walked out on me
A month or two ago

[spoken]
[MR JOHNSTONE]
Ta-ra!

[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
For a girl they say looks a bit like Marilyn Monroe
And they go dancin'
They go dancin'
Yes. they go dancin'
They go dancin'