Margie the Midget

I spent a lovely boyhood
Hitching rides on passing trains
I was lying in the window
With my aches against the panes

But now I'm sitting on a houseboat
Tied to a wharf
Come and see me today
Sitting on a houseboat, I got married to a dwarf
Come and see us anyway

I married a midget
Why not?
I thought about it an awful lot
And I couldn't think of any reason that didn't seem small
And when I thought just a little, a little more about it
I couldn't think of any, any reason at all

Keep on your toes, my midget bride
You're just as tall as a rose
And three dozen wide
When folks come over, Margie
Honey, you don't have to hide
I love you little midget, every way that we've tried

She makes me feel about 11 feet tall
Heaven looks after the folks that are small
You know, people write in and they're asking "how do you ball?"
Well, love is the answer, and we answer 'em all

And then we go walkin'
Hand in ankle
Down to the dock
Ready to sail away

Walkin' hand in ankle
She's got her arm around my... sock
Ready to sail away today