Esham
Esham
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Esham
Esham
“Momma Was A Junkie” is track #6 on Esham’s 1992 LP judgement Day Vol. 1 – Day.
The song tells the story about the life and death of his cocaine addicted mother and gives his perspective of what it was like growing up in that shadow. It is unknown if this is a true biographical account of Esham’s...
[VERSE 1]
Mama was a junkie
Sometimes I used to wonder
Whether she'd be better off alive
Or six feet under
Late nights go by, no sleep
Born into a junkie's world
It's so deep
Crack pipes
Crack vials
Cracked up person
Some days it's bad then other days much worse
I used to never go to sleep, in fear
Trying to hide the pain
And front like I didn't care
The neighborhood knew just what had happened to me
At night they said the Devil was rapping to me
But on the streets I could feel my mother's heartbeat
And every time she gets frightened
It quickly repeats
The way the junkie lives
And what the junkie gives
Hard times and problems
And stress for their own kids
No sense in rehabilitation
Growing up in humiliation
The aroma of base makes me choke
I could almost die from the smell of the crack smoke
Different men
Going out, and coming in
And in my eyes
I witnessed the first people's sin
And I was only 3
They thought I couldn't see
But in my eyes
Mama was a junkie
[HOOK]
A junkie
Trying to live a life
Such a sacrifice
Knowing wrong from right
(x2)
[VERSE 2]
J-U-N-K-I-E to me
Some closed their eyes
And tried not to see
But you can still smell it
Seeing is just as well
My mother unconsciously trapped in Hell
Now her life's on the line
And stuck to the grind
And time after time
She's on my mind
I'm thinking, "How could this happen to my mother? Not me bro."
But some nigga in my hood is slanging kilos
He's got a spot around the corner from the crib
Lord forgive her
For all the things she did
I'm thinking, "Where was the police when she was buying this?"
But I know that police could give a fuck less
About another basehead on the street
But they'd rather pretend they dont see it
When they walk the beat
A black cop ain't good for shit but blackmail
And he knows that my mother's out here smoking llello
But black cops are blind they can't see
Cause in my eyes
Mama was a junkie
[HOOK]
Mama lived the fast life
Pregnant at 14
Back in those days it wasn't crack
It was heroin
Shot it in her veins
To try to ease the pain
An unplanned pregnancy was made then I came
Straight from the womb
To witness my mama's doom
And in my heart
I know the end's coming soon
Of all this junkie-ism
Neighborhood criticism
Her mind was gone
I felt she needed an exorcism
Speedballing, booze and the fast times
Pretty soon my mama lost her whole fucking mind
ADC, welfare recipient
Three children
Not enough dividends
Few good times
Only bad times and worse
From speedballing
Her motherfucking heart burst
I wish I could have said, "I love you." before she left
Now my mind's forever haunted
With my mama's death
I asked myself, "How could this happen to me?"
My mother O.D.'d
Cause she was a junkie
[HOOK]