Mama Told Me

[Hook: Chino XL & Akili Nickson]
She said she should’ve done this
She should’ve done that
Pack my bags and never look back
Some things that I’ve seen I can’t un-see
I spend my whole life just trying to get free
And I’m never gonna be, without my pain and misery
But I remember what my mama told me (Mama told me)
Mama told me (Mama told me)
I remember what my mama told me

[Verse 1: Chino XL]
I scramble to my feet to regain consciousness
The floor half full of blood, I’m a pessimist
It makes sense for me to make my exodus
This scene flashing through child monic movie images
I was nine years old with spine hemorrhages
Just me and him was in the house, no witnesses
All I’m thinking is, how I’mma live through this
He unclenched his fist, my face grimaces
I don’t reminisce, I remember the stress
Feeling nervousness when he came home up the steps
Mom he beatin' me bad, first escaped my lips
She said that I was a fuck up and I deserved this shit
What could I have possibly done I was only nine
With fucking stitches in my eye she told me stop crying
I’m looking for a sign, the sun don’t ever shine
I’m an only child, they say that love is blind

[Hook]

[Verse 2: Chino XL]
Now in retrospect as a father looking back
Having my own flesh of my flesh, there’s no excuse for that
I also have heard that what don’t kill us make us stronger
But the abuse that I took, took away my hunger
Living inside my imagination I learned hate
Planning my escape, losing my personal faith
She blamed it on the drugs, she blamed it on the times
She blamed on her moms, but I’m the one with scars
Staring at that chipped paint wall in my room
I’m 13 years old now I gotta do something soon
It was the 6th of June, inside of my mouth was a bloody wound
My stepfather vowed to put in me in a tomb
Momma told me my real daddy didn’t want me
I figured this new man must be special if she let him hurt me
Now I ain’t had no mother, and He ain’t have no mercy
Why did God curse me? Maybe I’m meant to suffer

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Chino XL]
I finally decided that I wouldn’t take it no more
I had a steak knife that I’ve been hiding in my right drawer
He had punch my right jaw just the night before
I stood silently outside his bedroom door
But every breath I took I felt like there was angels with me
Soon his death would be a mystery even to me
I saw a shadow move, he finally coming through
I swung a knife at dude, if I had only knew
The life slipping out a body was my mom dukes
I had no idea that she was in the room too
Wiping tears from my eyes this can’t be true
My stepfather drunk in the bed still off cheap brew
I knelled down to momma to hear a last truth
She said "Son I never loved him more than you"
I still hate myself, I tried to hang myself
The leather belt broke, that was 20 years ago

[Hook x2]