Macavity: The Mystery Cat (1982 Original Broadway Cast)

[DEMETER]
Macavity's a mystery cat: He's called the Hidden Paw
For he's a master criminal who can defy the law
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair
For when they reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare
And when they reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!

You may seek him in a basement, you may look up in the air...
But I tell you once, and once again, Macavity's not there!

[BOMBALURINA]
Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin
You'd know him if you saw him for his eyes are sunken in
His brow is deeply lined in thought, his head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed
He sways his head from side to side with movements like a snake
And when you think he's half asleep... he's always wide awake!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!

[DEMETER]
He's outwardly respectable

[BOMBALURINA]
I know he cheats at cards

[DEMETER]
And his footprints are not found in any files of Scotland Yard's

[BOMBALURINA]
And when the larder's looted

[DEMETER]
Or the jewel case is rifled

[BOMBALURINA]
Or when the milk is missing

[DEMETER]
Or another Peke's been stifled!

[BOMBALURINA]
Or the greenhouse glass is broken

[DEMETER]
And the trellis past repair

[DEMETER & BOMBALURINA]
There's the wonder of the thing
Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare
What ever time the deed took place Macavity wasn't there!

And they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known

[DEMETER]
I might mention Mungojerrie

[BOMBALURINA]
I might mention Griddlebone

[DEMETER & BOMBALURINA]
Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations: The Napoleon of Crime!

[DEMETER & BOMBALURINA & FEMALE CATS]
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then Macavity...
Macavity...
Macavity!
Macavity...
When a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!