Mac Meets Carmen (Pilot) Script
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia & Rob McElhenney * Track #2 On It’s Always Sunny on TV (Pilot)
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Mac Meets Carmen (Pilot) Script by It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Ft. Rob McElhenney)
Performed by
It’s Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaRob McElhenneyAbout
The unofficial script of another short pilot from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.
Rob meets an “amazing girl”, but Glenn and Charlie know that – amazing or not, Carmen isn’t a girl.
Mac Meets Carmen (Pilot) Script Annotated
EXT. UNKNOWN NEIGHBOURHOOD
Glenn and Charlie are standing outside. Glenn is drinking a beer, while Charlie is putting them in his vest, perhaps stealing them
GLENN: The women in this city... Shallow, materialistic and du.. just stupid.
CHARLIE: I know.
GLENN: Don't get the cans, get the bottles. Get the eh, airports.
Rob runs to Charlie and Glenn
ROB: Guys, you guys. You have no idea what just happened. I just met a girl who is amazing. Smart, beautiful, the whole thing.
GLENN: That's great, dude.
CHARLIE: Which one?
ROB: That.. The brown one over there.
He points to Carmen, who stands a neaerby a house talking to another guy.
Glenn looks to Charlie, they both start laughing.
GLENN: The one by the chair?
ROB: Yeah.
GLENN: That's awesome, that's a dude.
CHARLIE: That's a man.
ROB: No, the brown one, with the hair.
GLENN: The brown one, right yeah. (Together with Charlie) That's a guy. (alone) That's Sheilo's friend Carmen right?
ROB: Yeah, Carmen.
CHARLIE: Transsexual.
GLENN: Implants?
CHARLIE: Yes.
ROB: Are you sure?
CHARLIE: Yes.
GLENN: Look, look, look at his jeans?
Cut to Carmen
GLENN: There's a bulge in there
CHARLIE: That's a penis. That's the bulge of a penis.
GLENN: A bulge of a big penis in... in his jeans.
CHARLIE: That's a man, that's a manrub.
MAC: Gimme a second.
CHARLIE AND GLENN: Alright.
Cut to Rob walking to Carmen
CARMEN: You know, you don't owe me the plate. That's fine.
ROB: Excuse me? (to Carmen's discussion partner) Yeah could you give us one second. Thanks (to Carmen - points to her/his pants) Is that a penis in your pants?
CARMEN: Yeah.
ROB: You lied to me.
CARMEN: No, I didn't. You lied to me. Pharmaceutical Sales please, I saw you on that episode of Law & Order.
ROB: No, don't turn this a.. Law & Order, you saw that?
CARMEN: Yeah.
ROB: Yeah, really did you...
Glenn and Charlie are walking behind them
GLENN: Rob. Can we go, please.
CARMEN: You were pretty good actually.
ROB: You think so? I thought it was a little over the top.
CARMEN: I thought it was great.
CHARLIE & GLENN: Rob! Come on.
ROB: I gotta go. But ehm, you know what maybe.. I'll call you. I'll call you.
CARMEN: Bye.
Rob walks away, Carmen smiles
The pilot ends with a cut to her bulge
END OF PILOT