Lucifer and the Fallen Angels

[Verse 1]
I run over a squirrel in Arkansas
Well, the blood wasn't even dry
When I see a few fallen angels
And Lucifer tryin' to hitch a ride
I pull over, they jump in
Lucifer says "How far's Mobile?"
I say "I don't rightly know
"I'm goin' to Nashville to get a publishing deal"
And the fallen angels just laugh

[Verse 2]
Calmly Lucifer said:
"Now listen, don't take this wrong
"Ain't nobody in that town
"Is gonna wanna publish your songs
"You're cool but you old
"They don't care about that snake farm groove and grit
"And you didn't make any money
"Even when badass Paul Thorn recorded it"
And the fallen angels just laugh

[Verse 3]
I said "That's cold!
"You're worthy of your reputation for bein' evil"
"Ain't no need to sugar coat it," he said
"Unless you're in St. Patrick's Cathedral
"Anyhow, how 'bout it?
You drivin' us down to Mobile?
"We'll pay for cash, buy you a lottery ticket
"And a Tibetan prayer wheel"
And the fallen angels just laugh

[Verse 4]
"Might as well," I said
"If you tell me 'bout gettin' thrown outta heaven"
Luc said "Sure!
"First, stop at a package store let's get a bottle of Seagrams Seven"
I pulled into Nervous Charlie's
Fireworks and All-Night Liquor Store
Luc gets out, pulls out a gun, puts on a ski mask
And walks through the door
And the fallen angels just laugh

[Verse 5]
Well, I hear a couple shots
Ol' Luc comes runnin' back
He says, "Make like Ray Charles
"And hit the road, Jack!"
I pull out, almost wrecking
But I make it to the highway somehow
Luc says, "How do you think that clerk likes
"Take Your Sons To Work Day now?"
And the fallen angels just laugh

[Verse 6]
I'm persona non-grata now
Barreling down the highway
Luc takes a sip of Seagrams
Said, "Well that heaven fiasco, there ain't much to say
"I started a small rebellion
"Never thinking I'd end up hell-bound
"Oh, the sole reason was
"I just got tired of God doggin' me around"
And the fallen angels just laugh

[Verse 7]
Luc said, "I saw you on Jimmy Fallon
"Singing 'Drunken Poet's Dream'
"So why go to Nashville
"Knowing you never ever gonna be mainstream?
"Go to somewhere like Texas
"Where they dig roots and blues and country that's real
"It's better to reign in hell than serve in heaven
"That's why I'm going to Mobile"
And the fallen angels just laugh
And the fallen angels just laugh
And the fallen angels just laugh