Love Is Not a Choice

baby, it’s so peculiar
a nightmare recurring
but only when i’m wide awake
it’s like i’m out of body
like i’m taken over
like devils come to rob the place

woke up and couldn’t find you
couldn’t find the children
a fuzzy head, blood on my clothes
and i could not remember
if i had killed or saved you
i only knew i was alone

oh my god
i came to just in time to watch it burn
gasoline on my hands and a grave lesson learned

that love is not a choice
'cause i’ve chosen not to love you anymore
and i don’t have a voice
that a heart can hear
when a heart knows what it wants
so love is not a choice

so I am fantasizing
getting homicidal
want to kill the man who did this to you
'cause he’s a thief and killer
a fucking wrecking-baller
he’s driving wild in my rear view

i loved you for so long
and i love you today
but i don’t know
how long i can live in a house by your grave

'cause love is not a choice
and i’ve chosen not to love you anymore
but i don’t have a voice
that a heart can hear
when a heart knows what it wants
so, love is not a choice

and deep down the only one you want
is the one who you betray
the one who you can’t have
who’ll never take you back
who you think you never loved
and who never loved you too
sometimes you need the lie to be the truth

'cause love is not a choice
and i’ve chosen not to love you anymore
but i don’t have a voice
that a heart can hear
when a heart knows what it wants
oh, love is not a choice