Love in the Scene

[AUTOMATED VOICEMAIL, spoken]
You've reached the voice mailbox of 917-947-3005, please leave a message after the tone

[HALLIE, spoken]
Whoops! Guess he doesn't wanna talk

[FRIEND, spoken]
Just leave a voicemail

[HALLIE, spoken]
What? When?

[FRIEND, spoken]
Now!

[HALLIE]
Hey favorite dad, I hope you're doing well
Life down in boarding school is going pretty swell
I know I promised I would be an engineer
I know you told me to have a 'safe' career
Once you get this, please just call me back
Or should I save you from a major heart attack?
But if you havе one, I'm sorry in advance
Trust me, I'm spеaking, and I wanna shit my pants
I mean, I wanna crap my pants
I mean, I wanna poop my pants

(spoken)
I mean, shit, I have to start over, I can't curse! Shit, wait, goddammit, ah shit, how do I delete this? Siri delete this!

[SIRI, spoken]
Locating dead fetus

[HALLIE, spoken]
No! Delete this!

(sung)
Hey favorite dad, I hope you're doing well
Life down in boarding school is pretty much like hell

(spoken)
Frick!
Hey, favorite dad!
Hey, only dad!
Hey, non-dead parent!
Uh, I'm nervous, I can't

[FRIEND, spoken]
You have to!

[HALLIE, spoken]
You do it!

[FRIEND]
Hey Hallie's dad, she can't co—

[HALLIE]
Ugh, I'm so sorry
I never meant to
I never asked to have a love for the scene
I never meant to
I never planned to want a theatre degree
But that's me, so!

[HALLIE & (ENSEMBLE)]
I know you warned me to have a backup plan
(Backup plan)
I know you said to find a wealthy, stable man
(Stable man)
But you forgot that I'm smartest in my class
I'm an independent woman, so haters kiss my—

[FRIEND, spoken]
Hallie

[HALLIE, spoken]
Sorry!

[HALLIE & (ENSEMBLE)]
I just be done at the end of the day
Withstayed hours filled with calculus and pre-med that I hate
(That I hate)
I needed something that was fun, filled with love
Saw a flyer on the wall
Like that, I joined the drama club
Found out that

I never planned to (I never planned to)
But I was meant to (But I was meant to)
Have a love for the scene (Ooh)
I never meant to
But now I plan to get a theatre degree
'Cause that's me, so!

(Na na na na na nanananananana, na na na na na)

I could've been a doctor
Or I would've been a stripper
And I should've downed hard liquor
'Cause that'd make this call go quicker
Would've, could've, should've's, I could second guess
I'm wondering who I'm gonna be if this dream is not for me

(spoken, rapid-fire)
At least you don't have to pay for tutoring for the SAT, 'cause guess what a conservatory's just essays about me so I'm gonna do what's best for me and only me because there's you and me and not me and this is my dream

(sung)
And mom, I hope you're proud of me
And mom would want me to be free
I never planned to be this way
I never meant to make your dream of me just fall apart
But now, I've never wanted anything so bad
That if you said I couldn't do it?
Now that would break my heart
I'm willing to risk all you know
And I'm gonna be me, so watch your daughter grow

I never meant to (I never meant to)
I never planned to (I never planned to)
Have a love for the scene
(I'm alive for the scene)
But I meant to (Ah)
So now I have to chase all my dreams
'Cause that's me, so!
(Na na na na na nanananananana, na na na na na)

Accept for me and my (Accept for me and my)
Me and my (Me and my)
Theatre degree
Accept for me and my (Accept for me and my)
Me and my (Me and my)
Love for the scene

(spoken)
I just thought that I'd say hey, oh and also, I'm gay. (Yay!)