Lost in the Slowness

[JON]
Afraid of moving on 'cause the feeling still stick
Like glue on my fingertips that I can't rip off
Without losing my prints
See I need my identity but I'm taking some hints
And I'm taking some hits
Starting to lower my defense too quick
Or hop the fence abandon ship
Slipped on the edge now my knees all skinned
Dipped in the death now my beat begins, and again
See I made the same mistake ' round this time last year
When I jumped ship only hit the pier
Missed the water, missed the water now I really miss water
There's no honor in swimming but I still can't bother
And mother still dealing with having lost a father
And splashing my feet only makes the offer hotter
I swear I redefined stalker when I walked down the docks
Checking in my things like I used to check stocks
But on the edge of time I could only write rhymes
Not warnings so in the morning I still feel fine
Not knowing if the flow is a work of divine design
And I slide into home what I thought was my home
But it doesn't feel any better than the rest of the globe
The best of all boats than the rest must at least float
Must take me through the tropes, must have some hopes
But life doesn't work that way, it's just too sloped
I hope someday I find a friend to elope with
We focus on the noises that come from the poems
And the closest thing to fear we'd fear would be missing the bonuses
The little doses of life that are hard to notice
The little signs from God like the smoking bush to Moses
We live our lives just lost in the slowness
'Cause we both stayed golden when our friend got stolen
Snatched up we're broken, oceans we're rolling
Waves staying wavy 'til the spots are open
We had the same times, now the Times speaking the slogan
That you gotta snatch what's frozen for the taking
And what's spoken is a mistake, is too late, it's taken
You gotta face the music when the music's playing
Calling you for a dance the chance got you awakened
Why we waiting wasting waning waxing moons the ground still rotating
I'm saying when we stripped down naked to our barest bones
All we are is whatever we are, it's amazing
And that space is vacant if you missed every chance he created
On this world oh just too damn captivating
It's aggravating, it's aggravating
We could be this too but you playing
And I'm praying, and I'm praying:
For a change from your intoxicating grasp
Escaping your frustrating clasp
I put all the anger in the raps because the love don't last
Not much ever lasts, too long
I just wish I had more time not to do it so wrong
I did you so wrong, I coulda been better
Instead stringing you along in this game
You don't belong, it's the same old song
It's gone
And it's just Jon