Lost in Madrid

[Verse 1]
Sitting on the park bench, just
Wondering where the time went
Seemed like just the other day I was only 15
With big dreams of starring on the big screen
Couldn't even drive yet
So young, so pure, so innocent
I was hardly even alive yet
I didn’t know what was in store for me
Remember Prithvi mopping up the floors with me
Remember Fortner, George being bored with me
I remember Zach praising the Lord with me
I remember back when I had more feelings
Back when I had told myself I had no ceiling
And I was strictly no killing
'Til I dreamt about jumping off of the dorm building
To this day I'm still reeling, to this day I’m still healing

[Verse 2]
Suicide's a crazy thing to think about
You in the world, you hate the world, you taken out
You live your life, you hate your life, you take the knife
You load the gun and think that it'll be alright
I thought about it way too long to tell you honest
Honestly I figured this is deeper of a problem
Than the surface level, like a shark fin
Something's lurking under
You wonder just what went wrong in that awful summer
(You wonder just what went wrong in that awful summer)
(You wonder just what went wrong in that awful summer)
I been there, I been there, and I thought that
With no care, with no care
I'd be off that, that's that wind in my hair
Almost lost that life I bear, but it's there
Since I fought back, now I share my own flair, yeah
I fought back, now I'm here, uh

[Verse 3]
Kicking it, the seasons is ridiculous
Forecaster said the cold blast us when the winter hit
Now we in the middle of the autumn, and the temperature
Is steady in the 90s, that’s that climate change predicament
My insolence is infinite, my innocence is dissonant
Legitimately I feel insignificance is imminent
People walking past and they smile at me, but
I can see their lips are filled with silicon
(Yeah, the silicon in your lips is sickening)
I ain’t got no friends to save me when I'm drowning, prolly
Almost penned a letter just to say that I was sorry
This’ll knock you off your balance
This'll catch you off your guard
I know life is meant to challenge
Didn't think it'd hit this hard, uh
But keep listening, all I really needed in the moment
Was a listener, shouldn’t be up missing
With these thoughts when I'm a Christian
Pastor, pastor, what do I do if I'm tired of living here?
(Uh, slow down, uh huh, slow down)
If I'm lost in Madrid, then that's just what it is