Losing Myself

(Verse 1)

I guess I’m just living for tonight
Don’t remember how I got here
Lying in this spot here
Wishing I was not here
A combination of blurry vision
And bad decisions
A sad collision
Sitting with one of the baddest women
With ulterior motives
But I don’t even notice
Too busy caught up
Just living for the moment
In love with everything right now
It’s like I want it
Even if it isn’t real
But it’s simply how I feel
Like my flesh is taking over
Conscience went unconscious
I know it ain’t right
But I’m constantly unbalanced
Just trying to fill a void
I need it, I swear I need it
Even though I should probably leave it
I’m staying, best believe it
Cuz in this lonely world
I ain’t trying to be alone
It’s late
And I don’t think
That I would even make it home
My mind’s racing
I’m confusing myself
Tonight, I think I’m losing myself

(Chorus)

And I can hear ‘em saying
(No, no, no, no, no, no) 3x)
But all I keep on sayin’
(I know, I know, I know 3x0
But let me go…

(Verse 2)

My whole life feels like a show
That nobody showed up to
Like they opened the curtain
And it’s just you
No lights for my eyes to adjust to
Still I save face on the surface
Take a shot of generational curses
While voices telling me drink up
I said I’d never touch it
But somewhere along the way
It made it’s way in my discussion
My world moving slow
Like I’m sipping on Robotussin
Double cupping
Leaning on people I wouldn’t be trustin’
In my right mind
But somethin’ happens when it’s night time
I mess around and start thinking about my lifetime
And all the bad things sitting on my life line
And all the wrong things happen at the right time
Did some soul searching
Hoping that I might find
Some of the answers
Instead I found cancer
Just a metaphor for the sickness
Of my addiction
Talking to myself
But I ain’t trying to listen

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)

Lord please
Lead me away from these
Mistakes I’m making
Giving into temptation
Me, I’m just impatient
With this complacent life
Maybe that’s why I
I stay away at night
Thinkin’ bout my future
Trying to find my place in life
Friday Night sins
Saturday regrets
Sunday morning repentance
Monday, I’m feeling blessed
Tuesday, I’m still living
Wednesday, I start slippin’
Thursday, I’m getting anxious
Friday, I’m back sitting
In that very same position
Chillin’ with random women
Searching for false love
Desires for new beginnings
Going in a cycle
The reason I’m going psycho
Swinging in the devil’s playground
Cuz all of this time idle
And don’t realize that it’s hurting
Every time
Was searching for Nirvana, but then
I said Nevermind
Please forgive for abusing myself
I need help
I’m losing myself

(Chorus 2x)