Losing Myself

[Verse 1: JayteKz]
Yeah, I lost who I was
Alcohol and the drugs, It was killing my brain
It was deep in my blood, and It weakened my love
I hated myself, I hated my guts
I was stuck in the mud
I was stuck in the rain
My life was a flood
I was hiding the crutch
I was hiding the truth
I was hiding the pain
I was hiding the tears
As if I wasn't hurt but this shit was severe
Wishing I'd disappear
Wishing I wasn't here
Wishing I would just die and get buried alive
I was wondering why.. like, "Why was I born?"
Why wasn't I warned?
Why wasn't I warned?
No

[Dialogue]
Why wasn't I warned of the troubles ahead?
Of all the tears and blood I'd shed
I had no idea the devil was just around the corner
Waiting to capture me when I least expected it
Why wasn't I warned? Why wasn't I warned?

[Verse 2]
Why wasn't I warned of the troubles ahead of me?
Why wasn't I told that love would become my worse enemy?
The older I get, the more I'm left with pain from memories
The colder I get, the more I resent and live regretfully
It doesn't make sense to me, no
It doesn't make sense to me
If there is a god why won't he respond?
Is he protecting me?
If there is a god why then would he want to put an end to me?
If there is a god then all that I ask is that he rescues me
Will you rescue me?

[Dialogue]
Then I realized that my god is within
My god is love
My god is energy
My god is all things in this world
My god does not live in the sky, but rather lives within my heart
And he's always been there

[Verse 3: JayteKz]
I was searching for a love through the drugs and the alcohol
And I lost me through the simple thought if I numb the pain it would heal this heart of mine
But It only made the real me hard to find
Insecurities and hatred all combined is a misery that kept me lost in time
I don't even want to speak upon it now, cause the imagery still haunts my mind
So I had to look deep within myself, cause the problem is I nobody else
I was too damn proud to ask for help
Everyday I was walking on eggshells
I was scared to breakdown and make a crack
So I had to fake smiles and fake the laughs
But, inside I was bound to break in half
I was hiding behind the tainted mask
Realized I had to take it off, otherwise I would never shake this off
Overtime all the hatred had evolved
Borderline my heart almost dissolved
But, I came to my senses just in time
Every breath that we take is so divine
And it's up to ourselves to redefine
What our purpose will serve between the lines
So I took all my pain and agony
All the wounds from my past catastrophes
To the blood from the blade that pierced my heart
And our pain that pressures masterpiece
Cause I know that the darkest tragedies make way for the brightest days ahead
And I know that whatever saddens me, only strengthens my weakness in the end

[Outro]
What doesn't kill you is only proof of your purpose
And it's up to you to find what your purpose is
But, I promise you that you have one
And I promise you that you will find it if you search deep enough
Have faith and just believe

4NEVER