Lose

Tears fall sideways and stain my pillow
I've felt this empty since I was little
Use my body as a cutting board
When the world gets cold
And I'm locked in my room
Pitch black and all alone
I'm decaying like a statue
Everybody takes a piece
Until I'm nothing like I was
There's hardly any left to me
Let men love me like killers
Until my face is on the news
It won't take long
Once you've got me
In your trunk and dark blue
Take a look

Take a look
This is what it looks like to lose
Take a look
Take a look
This is what it looks like to lose

I love to play the victim more than any other role
Until my legs swing in the closet
Bare naked with no soul
Sympathy from other losers
Feeling so bad but can't help
I'll do anything to stay hurt
Even if I have to hurt myself
Take a look

Take a look
This is what it looks like to lose
Take a look
Take a look
This is what it looks like to lose

Most days now I get so high I can't come down
But when I do I plummet through the ground
To the bottom steadying my shaking hands
That peel back the curtain where I stand
With greasy hair and smeared black eyes
I have no tears left I could cry
The bitter end feels so warm
Sinking beneath the surface of scorn

Take a look
Take a look
This is what it looks like to lose
Take a look
Take a look
This is what it looks like to lose

You brought me high
And left me low
I got caught up in the undertow
I can't get well
My body's not home
I'd rather lose myself than be left all alone