Look Directly at the Floating Polystyrene Head

We'd like to thank you very much for volunteering for our little mind control excercise
Rest assured that this is all completely legal and your safety will not be compromised
Please direct your attention to the stationary object hanging perfectly still
(Also it doesn't move)
You may experience a slight bit of numbness as it completely robs you of your free will
(Now dance for me, pretty!)

Look directly at the floating polystyrene head of Isaac Newton
Your hands are covered with blood and all your friends are dead, you can't remember what you've done
This is your curse, and it can't be reversed
So you'd better learn to live with it and pray you don't get worse

[Spoken]
Eat a gallon of candy corn
Eat two gallons of candy corn
Change your name to candy corn
Sir Rutherford H. Candycorn III!
Pinch off grandmother's trachea with a battery clamp so the demons don't get in
Replace every CD at your local music store with recordings of your own gastrointestinal noises
Call it the Black-Eyed Peas

Each afternoon at 3:18 you will have nightmarish visions involving C. Everett Koop
(And a misplaced banana)
You will dine with the crowned heads of Europe and tell them all their hair smells like cat poop
(Keep it classy)
When you apply for a loan at the bank, you'll only wear a bright magenta thong
(And Kabuki makeup)
And when you hear the chorus of Hey Jude, you'll feel compelled to sing along
(In a gumby voice)

Look directly at the floating polystyrene head, and your brain is frozen
Next thing you know you're shoving jalape