Linda

[Intro]
I picked up a pen and started to write a song
Then suddenly, I started thinking
"Thinking 'bout the lovin' I missed"

[Verse 1]
Late one night, I was on the telephone
Then suddenly... "ah, ah", I heard a moan
I crept real quiet like down the hall to the room
What's that smell? "Obsession", oh perfume
Now I see it's somebody else here besides me
Who can it be, hmm maybe it's D
Without even thinking I opened up the door
What the... and what are you doing on the floor with

Linda, what are you doing with Linda?

[Verse 2]
Linda, get up now, before I tell your parents child
Linda screamed and quickly put back on her jeans
She gave a look, that's when I knew I had her hooked
I grabbed her hand, and that's when Linda ripped my pants
I said "stop", that's when Linda slowly dropped
To the floor, I said "wait" but she ignored me
So I thought, if we do it quick I won't get caught
So I said, come on give me some

Linda, what are you doing with Linda?
Linda, what are you doing with Linda?

"How was your date with Linda?"

[Verse 3]
Linda was great, she left my crib about eight
And let me tell you, I can't wait for the next time
Cuz yo, I'm excited, she ignited, I'm delighted
She didn't fight it, yo I'm-a write it, then recite it
In a book, the way Linda shook and took my hook

Linda, what are you doing with Linda?
Linda, what are you doing with Linda?

[Skit: titled "RACIAL BIGOT" in the lyric booklet]
Alrighty, all the ni**ers, and the goddamn Jews, and the Mexicans, and the gooks are gonna hang high
'Cause this definitely ain't no goddamn circus
This is America... [echoes]