Linda Blair

Seat 2C, Oslo to Warsaw, Norwegian Air
It's 9am and I'm yawning
Next to a perky young girl with beautiful long blonde hair
She's playing a game on her phone and chewing on her Danish
The little girl behind me has a demonic cough
And she sounds like Linda Blair in The Exorcist
"Blaaaaagh! Blaaaaagh! Blaaaaagh! Blaaaaagh! Blaaaaagh! Blaaaaagh! Blaaaaaaaaaagh!"
I hope it's just a common cold and nothing too serious
If it's a serious medical condition, I hope the Lord blesses her

Last time I played Poland was with Justin from Godflesh
I couldn't pronounce the name of the town to save my life or the venue
But we headlined a metal fest
The names of the other bands I don't know
But I do remember the aggressive sound of their names
Cryptdeath Motheroffuck Lord fuck Lord fuck Lord
Blaaaaagh!

I don't know much about Poland, other than Andrew Golota's boxing style
He put his left jab out like a kitten trying to paw a bed sheet hanging out to dry
And his glass chin a very easy target to find
He quit after round two with Mike Tyson
He was on his ass, his eyes bulging with fright
And Lennox Lewis dropped him in round one
He looked like a kid getting knocked on his ass by his daddy
When his daddy came home drunk
But I have a soft spot for Andrew because the great fighters, he never dodged
And I thought it was mean how his fans pelted him with garbage
During his walkout after he lost to Mike Tyson

Facing Tyson was a very brave thing to do
Yea, he was overmatched
But I found the audience's behavior after the fight disgraceful and rude
Though our local sports heroes are often times flawed, show them love and support
Be kind, take the high road, be a good sport
I think in that Tyson fight, Golota's brains might have become unglued
He wasn’t quite the same after that
It could have been that beating he took, I have no clue
But those people throwing things at him
Was despicable and bullying at its worst
He was fighting Mike Tyson and representing your country
And his fans humiliated him by adding hurt to his already hurt

And yeah, when Lennox dropped him in round one
I felt an even stronger connection with Golota
‘Cause he went out there determined as Raging Bull, but like a lamb he got slaughtered
His weakness was that chin and that clumsy left
And those low blows to Riddick Bowe were his only weapon
His only defense, he was clearly overmatched
He is imperfect, as we all are
Let's face it, we're all scared little girls and boys
So everybody right now, for Andrew Golota, make some fucking noise
So right now, for Andrew Golota, make some fucking noise

Other than Andrew Golota, I don't know much about Poland
I’m told my ancestors were from there, and I guess that's saying something, I know
I gotta admit, I never looked too deeply into it
Though I’m told, before my name became Kozelek apparently it was actually Koziołek
And there was a time that I played the OFF Festival in the summer in Katowice
I played a seated venue
And a Polish woman cooked Italian food for me
And I've been to Italy more times than I could ever count
And that Polish woman cooked the best lasagna I ever had
And that's no fucking joke

But I shared a taxi to the airport with Owen Ashworth and Ben Gibbard
I said, "Owen, did you ever notice how much Poland looks like Ohio?"
He said, "Yeah, it does" and that's all he said
Owen Ashworth is a great songwriter from Chicago, Illinois if you never heard of him
Now everybody that shows some gratitude for the beautiful things in the world
The lovely cornfields along the highways and the meals that the kind people prepare for us
And the audience who come to our countries who play beautiful music for us
And the fans who come out to our shows and pay the ticket and pay attention and listen to us

We're in this life once, so let's absorb what's around us
And not make a fuss over the little things
We may live to be old or tomorrow we might get hit by a bus
I got a lot of love for all people
Yeah, I got a lot of love, I got a lot of love, even for the imperfect low-blowing Andrew Golota
I got a lot of love for you, all you people here in Warsaw, Poland
If I gotta be honest, there's only one thing I’ll tell you that I don't love at all
It's the music of Steely Dan, it makes my skin crawl
Well I gotta be honest, there's another thing that I don't love at all
It's the music of the Eagles
It makes me wanna put my fist through a wall

Now I’m gonna mention a song that I love very much
AC/DC's "A Touch Too Much”
Now I’m gonna mention a couple of songs that I love very much
Neil Young's "Harvest Moon” and also "After the Gold Rush”

Now I’m gonna mention a song that I know we all love very very much
How can we not?
ZZ Top, "I Ain't Asking For Much"
Now I’m gonna mention a song by Queen, that I love very much
"Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love”
Now I’m gonna mention another song by Led Zeppelin that we all love very much
"A whole lotta love, baby baby baby babe, I got a whole lotta love, got a whole lotta love"
Now I’m gonna mention a song from an album of mine that I know you all love very much
“I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
I love you baby forever and beyond eternity”