Limited Edition OJ Slammer

[Verse 1]
Tabloid crutch or tabloid crush
Famous players painted an absinthe rush
Van Gogh with it ‘til the mandates made
Man with a schedule, I can’t be late
I’m not an ambulance chaser unless I have to be
My job’s a tough one, it’s garnering apathy
From the stuffed shirt mercantile system wisdom bitches
With a job that kills their brain out, played out
Talk to me and you’ll find out who’s cheating
Who with, who’s beating and who’s sick
Who’s speaking to Hugh’s friends
And who’s being a nuisance to Ben and Jen
Or Jen and Brad and that Tomb Raider chick
And don’t hate me, baby, ‘cause you paid for it
I'm not a monster, no, I’m not a monster
I just do what I have to get rich

[Chorus]
Gold-plated and razor-shaped

[Verse 2]
B-b-b-brain washer, mind deleter
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise was my idea
Arranged relationships, based on the patronage
Of millions of moviegoers, many ages and races
Big faces in places of the strangest basis, stasis
Shut the fuck up and be complacent
And buy that rag like the maid in my house
I watch Extra and wipe the fame off my mouth
And if they ask what daddy does
Tell them he holds a camera up
There's no need to name the name’s names
We aren’t so different, we play the same games
Like status quo for pro bono
Plus those blackface primetime coons like _______
But it makes no difference if we win or lose
Elegant rouse, ooh, I’m fixing moves

[Chorus]
Gold-plated and razor-shaped

[Verse 3]
Denzel got robbed and I’ll never forget the look
He took from the ceremony, phony franchise
He had Nixon heart, “I am not a crook
But I will take the statue if I win for one"
I’m looking for the real killers
Jackson had a glove too but there ain’t blood on those fingers
They talk love on it, honest, they run comments
About the freak that got away in a Jeep
As always, had a Pog slammer as a young buck
A gold razorblade with the juice on the front
You’re a fake Robert Blake with that pump
And Beretta did that shit, you know, with the chick he dumped
It runs through my fingers like a dead blonde’s blood
CNN will blame it on a husband’s gun
Pretend it ain’t real, peel the vic’s seal
And you’ll still get that promo deal, enjoy the fruit basket

[Chorus]
Gold-plated and razor-shaped