Let’s Dating Fight

[PAPYRUS]
Wow! You actually agreed to come hang out! This is gonna be great! Okay, stand behind me!

[UNDYNE]
Hi, Papyrus! Ready for your extra-private, one-on-one training?

[PAPYRUS]
You bet I am! And I brought a friend!

[UNDYNE AND PAPYRUS]
Hi, I don't think we've...

[UNDYNE]
Why don't. You two. Come in?

[PAPYRUS]
Here, Undyne! My friend brought a gift for you! On their own!

[UNDYNE]
Uh... Thanks. I'll, uh, put it with the others. So, are we ready to start?

[PAPYRUS]
Whoopsy doopsy! I just remembered! I have to go to the bathroom! You two have fun!

[UNDYNE]
So why are you here? To rub your victory in my face? To humiliate me even further? IS THAT IT?
Wait, you think we're gonna be FRIENDS? HOW DELIGHTFUL!
Let's do it! Let's all frolic in the fields of friendship! NOT!
Why would I EVER be friends with YOU? If you weren't my houseguest, I'd beat you up right now!
You're the enemy of everyone's hopes and dreams! I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND. Now get out of my house!

[PAPYRUS]
Dang! What a shame...
I thought Undyne could be friends with you. But I guess I overestimated her. She's just not up to the challenge

[UNDYNE]
CHALLENGE?
What? PAPYRUS! Wait a second!
Dang it...
He thinks I can't be friends with YOU?
Fuhuhu! What a joke! I could make friends with a wimpy loser like you any day!
I'll show him!
Listen up, human. We're not just going to be friends. We're going to be BESTIES
I'll make you like me so much you won't be able to think of anyone else!
IT'S THE PERFECT REVENGE! Why don't you have a seat?

Sit
At the table
I'll get something to drink
I
Said SIT DOWN!
This is MY HOUSE, you little fink!

Just point to what you want, I recommend tea
Um... I meant at a drink. are you flirting with me?

Here's your tea, little kid, careful, it's hot!
Though YOU STILL SHOULD DRINK IT!
Do you like it or not?

It's the best friggin' tea you've ever tasted-
Such flavor you can't comprehend!
For my most precious friend!

You know...
It's kinda strange that you chose golden flower tea
That's Asgore's favorite kind
You remind me a little of him. You're both TOTAL WEENIES!

(try to use this dialogue there)

You might not believe this, but… I was a pretty hotheaded kid. Once, to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight Asgore. Emphasis on TRIED. I couldn't land a hit on him! And he refused to fight back! I was so humiliated…
Then, he apologized and said… "Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?"
I said yes, and from then on, he trained me. Until I finally managed to knock him down!
I felt bad. But he was beaming… I've never seen someone more proud to get their butt kicked, you know?
Anyway, long story short, he kept training me… And now I'm head of the Royal Guard!
Now I'm the one training dorks to fight! Like, uh, Papyrus. But, to be honest… I don't know if I can ever let Papyrus into the Royal Guard. Don't tell him I said that! He's just… He's just too innocent and nice!!!
I mean, look, he was SUPPOSED to capture you… And ended up being FRIENDS with you! I couldn't send him into battle!
He'd get ripped into little smiling shreds. That's part of why I started teaching him how to cook, you know?
So he can do something else with his life. Oh, sorry, I was talking so long… You're out of tea, aren't you? I'll get some more…
Wait a second. Papyrus… His cooking lesson… HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT RIGHT NOW!
And if HE'S not going to have it… YOU'LL HAVE TO HAVE IT FOR HIM!!!

NOTHING brings friends closer than cooking! Which means that if I give you his lesson... FUHUHUHU!
Afraid? We're gonna be BESTIES!

Heroes start with the sauce!
Picture your enemy!
Pound veggies into paste!
DON'T PET THE ENEMY!

Heroes do it LIKE THIS
Yeah, I'm on a roll!
Don't worry 'bout the mess
I'll put it in a bowl

Now, put the noodles in!
Homemade's better than canned!
But since I'm really cheap
I JUST BUY THE STORE BRAND!

Put them into the pot!
Drop them like they're all crooks!
You're going way too slow!
Hey! Don't give me that look!

[Chorus]
Hey! Don't give me that look
Live by the hero book
Go, Undyne, cook!

[Chorus]
Cook on, Undyne!

[UNDYNE]
Stir as hard as you can!

[Chorus]
Cook on, Undyne!

[UNDYNE]
We will make this pasta spin!

[Chorus]
Cook on, Undyne!

[UNDYNE]
YOU CAN GO HARDER!

[Chorus]
Cook on, Undyne!

[UNDYNE]
It's a war we're going to win!

[Chorus]
Cook on, Undyne!

[UNDYNE]
Just let me stir, then!

[Chorus]
Cook on, Undyne!

[UNDYNE]
WITH THE POWER OF MY SPEAR!

[Chorus]
Cook on, Undyne!

[UNDYNE]
Though the pot gets smashed

[Chorus]
Cook on, Undyne!

[UNDYNE]
This is how it learns fear!

[UNDYNE]
That's all prepared, we will turn up the heat!
Turn the stove to the max, and let your passion shine!
The dial only goes right, we can't turn all this off!
This is what it is like when you cook with Undyne!

Come on, bestie, that's just not hot enough!
Let your hopes and your dreams turn into burning fire!
Follow your heart, don't hold anything back
The pasta is your enemy, light the funeral pyre!

What the heck, human, you call that a fire?
You don't hope and dream hard enough! Show me your ire!
Let me show you power the monsters admire
Look out stove, here comes Undyne, the world I'll inspire!

YEAH!

See, human? That's how you-
Oh. The house is on fire!
No wonder Papyrus sucks at cooking!
So what's next? Friendship bracelets? Scrapbooking?
Ah, who am I kidding? I really screwed this up...