Lesley

[Verse 1: Dave]
Look
They say the universe, it works in a strange way
And it must be true because
We ain't from the same background or same place
But me and Lesley ended up on that same train
I'm talkin' every day
I used to wake up around seven or eight
To catch the 9:06 from Norbury Station
Two different worlds in the same location and
One day, we ended up speakin'
And I would talk about college, she would talk about meetings
And how she's plannin' on leavin'
How she hates what she does, but she needs it
I asked her what she would do when it's the weekend
And she said, she said

[Chorus: Dave & Ruelle]
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more

[Verse 2: Dave]
She used to be the life of the party for true
And now she goin' out hardly ever
Her man got her in the yard forever
And her friends wanna help, but it's hard to tell her
Hard to let her know that her man's possessive and aggressive
And she can't even see it, but for them, it's clear as day she's in a situation
Her friend Hannah had a man that was manipulative
So she could see it from a mile off
Turtleneck jumpers, makeup around the eye spots
All the signs were there
But Lesley made it seem a light affair
Said it wasn't right to share
Her boyfriend, he was a mystery man
I didn't know much about him, but he's been in the can
Name's Jason, he's a bad boy with no reasonin'
To be honest, I don't know what Les sees in him
'Cause she's a good girl with a sweet heart
But they've both got demons and a deep past
You know opposites attract, apparently
I never heard her talk about her family ever, uh-uh
He was all that she had
Until they had an argument and he stopped callin' her back
And I don't know if there was more to the story than that
'Cause she plays things down, but according to that
He went missin' one day, in the mornin', he ran
She's doin' overtime, strugglin' affordin' the flat
'Til she lost her job, it fucked all of her plans
Couldn't pay the rent, borrowin' and callin' for cash
But Hannah, she was there for her, cared for her
When I saw Les, she told me

[Chorus: Dave & Ruelle]
"I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more"

[Verse 3: Dave]
Les sayin', "I got nothin' to live for
It's been raw, but David, I ain't never been this poor
There's no income, my boyfriend left me
So how the fuck am I gonna survive when this kid's born?"
And I said, "It's a blessin' as mad as it is
And Les, I never even knew that you were havin' a kid"
Bro, she's four months pregnant, young and neglected
Single, but I don't think she wants to accept it
So she's still textin' exes, tryna get this
Back on track, but I don't think that she gets it
It's emotional obsession, clinical depression
Life is a lesson
And you ain't gotta sit and cry
'Cause, Lesley, livin' in this gift called life
There's no better gift than the gift of life
So can you handle it?

[Chorus: Dave & Ruelle]
"I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more"

[Verse 4: Dave]
But that changed her perspective
Late in December, her baby's expected to drop
She's accepted, excited, electric, pumped
Only got to wait a few months
Her and Hannah had lunch, told her she's pregnant
And they're the closest of bredrins
So she didn't stunt to tell her, "I think that it's an error
You ain't a mum for a day, you're a mum forever
Whatever, and you and Jason break up whenever
If I'm honest, that's somethin' you should have done together"
She doesn't know that her and Jason goin' out again
And Jason doesn't know that Lesley's carryin' a child for them
She had daydreams of settlin' down with Jason
Better 'cause now they're together, it's wild
Feelin' like she needs to call her friends and tell 'em 'cause while
She's lettin' 'em down, but most of them are never around
She calls Hannah the next day
Still tryna figure out the best way
To tell her that she's gettin' back together with an ex-flame
So she left her a voicemail
Like, "Yo, Hannah, it's Les, can you call me back?
I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that
I've been feelin' like I need to get my aura back
I used to be so fucking confident
But these days, I swear that

[Chorus: Dave & Ruelle]
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more

[Verse 5: Dave]
It's 3:30
Lesley was meant to get a scan, but today, I think she's goin' home early
Tryna talk to Jason, tell him 'bout the kid
Addressin' any reservations, have that conversation
Middle of the summer and it's rainin'
Waiting at the train station, hella cancellations
So she gets a taxi, sittin' in a backseat
Blue jean jacket and a maxi
Actually tired and her legs are achin'
Touched the destination
Way faster than the cab driver's estimation
She put the key in the door
She couldn't believe what she see on the floor
Some size-five trainers, ragin'
Tears in her eyes, but it's cool 'cause they must be the neighbor's
And Jason's in the bedroom fully naked
Lesley runnin' up the stairs, but she's makin' noise
And she can hear Jason's voice
Sayin' "hide in the closet", but he's made his choice
So she bursts in sayin', "What kind of person
Would cheat on his pregnant girlfriend?"
Jason sayin', "What the fuck? You're pregnant? What the fuck?
You weren't even gonna tell me, I mean, what the fuck?
What do you want from us?
Nah, you ain't in love, you just wanna love"
Lesley tellin' Jason, "I don't wanna love
I don't want a you and I, I don't want a us
And also, I don't wanna talk loads
One more line before I dash like Morse code
Open the wardrobe"
And Jason's on the edge
"'I just wanna see if she was prettier than me, slimmer than me
Maybe your baby's similar to me
Maybe you wanted someone thicker than me, fitter than me
To satisfy you quicker than me
I got your baby in my stomach and you did this to me
What did I ever do to you for you to finish with me?
I didn't believe my girls, but they were thinkin' of me
And give it to me, the wardrobe, give me the key'
I was pullin' at the door, but Jason's bigger than me
Literally, I remember viscerally
Jason pullin' from behind me, now he's grippin' on me
White flashes, eye gashes, when he's hittin' me, see
I just wanted to disappear, I wasn't livin' for me
Physically, I shut the fuckin' door as quick as can be
He's outside askin' why I made him do what he did
Using a kick to open up the room that I'm in
I'm feelin' afraid, barricaded with a chair in the handle
I'm hearin' sirens, I just wanna run away, but I can't"
Jason's gone by the time police have come and they saw
That there ain't no one else in the house and feds are runnin' through the door shoutin'
"We have reports of an argument with a woman"
There's blood all over the floor and it's splattered onto the wall
Lesley's on the bed and she's tryna speak to the feds
She's deep in the stress and it's meters above her head
If anything, she couldn't even say anything
But she's got this really sharp pain where her belly is
So they call an ambulance, Lesley didn't plan for this
Police are in the room tryna find the missin' piece of the puzzle
Until they stumble on somethin' that's kind of random
It's a phone in a wardrobe
It had five missed phone calls from Jason
And also a couple other numbers, so they're thinkin' that it's no help
Until they play the voicemail
Like, "Yo, Hannah, it's Les, can you call me back?
I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that
I've been feelin' like I need to get my aura back
I used to be so fucking confident
But these days, I swear that

[Chorus: Dave & Ruelle]
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more"

[Verse 6: Dave]
She felt sick to her stomach, she started panickin'
Mind rattlin', tryna understand what Hannah did
Battlin' the shame 'cause the situation embarrassin'
She's tryna fathom it, betrayed by her own garrison
Meanwhile, she's on the bed tryna manage this
Piercin' pain in the stomach, she couldn't handle it
Now she's waitin' for an ambulance
Look
And I know she's strong
But when I heard about what happened, I was over-shocked
Her nose was gone, her jawline shattered and rocked
They said her baby was the reason she was holdin' on
She's dozin' off, doctors gettin' no response
Her heart rate slowin' down and they don't know what's wrong
Picked her up, got her out the home
And onto the stretcher for good measure, but she's fadin' out, uh
She took damage to the brain and now
She's in a coma as we speak, but I ain't sure if she can make it out
You see, this time that I'm takin' out
To tell you this story, it's more than a song or track
It's a message to a woman with a toxic man
I'm beggin' you to get support if you're lost or trapped
I understand that I can never understand
And I ain't sayin' that it's easy but it must be right
Some of your sisters, aunties, mums, or wives
Are fucked inside and they will never touch on why
I'm touched 'cause I've seen women that I loved or liked
Cry a little red tear through a bloodshot eye
This shit's awful, no matter what culture, it ain't normal
Men try and twist it and make it seem like it's your fault
In that train full of people that you're takin'
How many Lesleys are runnin' from their Jasons?

[Outro: Ruelle]
Angel without wings
Like the day without the night to bring her peace
A song without a voice
A spark without a flame
A child without a name
Oh, it's just wrong
Like an ocean without a shore
A soldier without a war
How can we do this anymore?
A song without a voice
A spark without a flame
A child without a name
Oh, it's just wrong

[Interlude]
Well, we've made a massive amount of progress in this last year, haven't we?
Feels like a long journey
And I must say it's been a pleasure to watch you mature and grow in thought
And in your career and life
You've opened up immensely
I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss these sessions
But you know, you can never stop learning about yourself
So you're always welcome
I'm just happy you're at a place now where you feel
You understand your emotions and are in control