Leper Leprechaun

Frolicking in the fields one fine day
When I saw a young man coming my way
He said "gimme your gold, don't make me beg"
So I pushed him over and I broke his leg

"You sneaky little bastard!" He did scream
And at that moment I felt something in me spleen
"I'll ruin your life, I guarantee!"
Turns out he gave me leprosy

I'm a leprechaun with leprosy
Nature's taken the best of me
Fiddily-eye-tye, tee-tiddily-eye torn
I'm a leper leprechaun

Thought it was a joke, just a bit of a yarn
Until I woke up and I had lost me arm
I looked on the ground and saw me four leaf clover
I had no legs so I couldn't bend over

I needed some luck and I needed it bad
I went to go check what limbs I still had
And at that time I heard a knock at the door
It was the same man as before

"I've come back to steal your gold!"
I tried to grab me pot but I had no hands to hold
He laughed in me face and he gave me some porn
"You'll need this" he says
"Cause no one will ever love a leper leprechaun"

I got real sick and all the other leprechauns began to laugh and scoff
I went to the pub to get real drunk
And me other arm fell off
I tried to drown me sorrows in a pint of Guinness
But I had no tongue
So I had to try and drink it with my penis

Got a leg in Dublin and an arm in bray
I lost me ear in Galway Bay
And in Wicklow I lost my elbow
And in Limerick I lost me... finger