Late For School by Steve Martin
Late For School by Steve Martin

Late For School

Steve Martin * Track #4 On The Crow

Late For School Lyrics

Woke up this mornin
Clock said I was late for school
Teacher told me "that's not cool"
Gotta put my shirt and pants on
Flew down the front stair
Wet my fingers and slicked my hair
Elbowed grandma passing by
Her face went into a pie

If I'm late there's misery
I won't be up on history
I'll be in the english grammar slammer
And I got a c
Got a warning last semester
Told my mom and that depressed her
Promised dad I won't be late, so gotta accelerate
Let's go!

Ran out the front door
Moving like a meteor
I sped across the front lawn quickly
Missed the bus, my shoelace tripped me
Rounded the corner
Homework flying as I go
Neighbor shouted "tally ho!"
And gave a standing o

Lept across three lawn flamingos
Waved to sal, (he's filipino)
Jumped the fence
And found that I was headed toward a pool
In the air I did look funny
On tv I'd make some money
Waved my arms and legs like mad
To alter where I'd land, whoo!

Aimed for the rubber boad
Hit instead the kiddie float
I began to lose control
I'm so glad I learned to log roll
Jumped onto the diving board
Bounced off it then headed toward
A jungle gym
I bounced just right and caught onto a kite
Whoa!

Up so high, I see the school
8am, that's the rule!
Flying slowly, time is marking
Down below the dogs are barking
I feel like I'm sailing
But uh-oh, the wind is failing
Now I'm headed downward, groundward
Clownward to the school

On the football field I crashed
50-yard line, perfect smash
Grabbed my books and so begins
My frantic final dash
Down the hall I ricochet
Trophy cases in the way
The other kids are all in class
I wish that I were they, whoa!
Almost there!

I see the clock ends with the light
8am exactly right!
I pull a handle with a fight
The door is locked and that's not right
There's not a person here today
Is everybody out to play?
Now I'm thinking and it's sinking in
It's saturday!
Ohh!! I could have stayed in bed!

I'm out the school gate
Wish that I could aviate
Or possibly evaporate
I'll be home and back in bed soon
My dad is waiting
"what the heck were you up to
Let's go fishing
My oh my, your grandma's face is in a pie"

This is really something
I'm with dad and fish are jumping
Mom gave me a new alarm
To set for monday morn
Never wanna be late for school'
Never wanna be the classroom fool
I'd be in the english grammar, slammer
And I get a d!
Now my feet are doing dances
Hip hooray for second chances!
I'm not late and life is great, it's time to celebrate, whoa!

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