Lars Attacks!

I landed in the forest in a 94 Taurus,
2,000 light years from my planet Lars Horris
Came dizzy out the craft, head spinning, legs akimbo,
MC phone home but couldn’t get a signal
Lost on Earth with a broken hovercraft
A head full of raps and a super rough draft
Of a Reason 4.0 beat that couldn’t finish
Quit it for a minute, still in the game to win it
Your brother knows me, he saw me on the news
The FBI is sweating me the cults all say it’s true
Before I landed in your city and I started melting faces
I was up on Cygnus, working on my spaceship,
Earth is not my home but I guess I’ll stay
I really couldn’t find a Martian sublet anyway
Back with a ginormous space laser on my back
With my finger on the trigger city setting set to flat

[Hook]
I came to chew gum and I came to kick raps (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)
But I’m all out of gum so now Lars Attacks! (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)
I came to smash houses and I came to rock tracks (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)
Now this block’s been demolished so Lars Attacks! (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)

You don’t know me from Adam, Xenu or Bender
ET or Weezy or Roger remember
Just like a giant octopus I go for your esophagus
I’ve kicked it with Egyptians and I’ve chilled in a sarcophagus
Stonehenge, Roswell, the Aztecs, the Mayans
Crop circles, cattle mutilations, Easter Island
That was me (holler), but I don’t regret it
They sold a lot of tabloids now it’s out because I said it
Don’t let it get to you, because I ate your goldfish
‘Cause I burned your house down, took your cat in sold it
This is hard-core alien hip-hop, going on ten years not about to stop
Watch the Milky Way collapse like a Carl Sagan nightmare
Stephen Hawking’s texting me, I’m floating like Buzz Lightyear
To infinity, beyond, and back bought the t-shirt
Got Wall-E in my rear view telling me his knees hurt…
What? No we didn’t have sex!
Wall-E’s a robot so we can’t have sex!

[Hook]
I came to meet Jodi and make “Contact” (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)
But SETI crashed my Mac so Lars Attacks! (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)
I came to rep the Bay and kick it with the Pack (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)
But space men aren’t hyphy so now Lars Attacks! (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)

I came to chew gum and I came to kick raps (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)
But I’m all out of gum so now Lars Attacks! (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)
I came to smash cities and I came to rock tracks (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)
Godzilla’s on vacation so Lars Attacks! (Lars Attacks! Lars Attacks!)

Lars Attacks! Ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha… run for cover