Ladies Who Lunch

[JILL, spoken]
I’d like to propose a toast
(sung)
Here's to the ladies who lunch—
Everybody laugh
Lounging in their caftans
And planning a brunch
On their own behalf

Off to the gym
Then to a fitting
Claiming they're fat
And looking grim
'Cause they've been sitting
Choosing a hat
(spoken)
Does anyone still wear a hat?
(sung)
I'll drink to that

Here's to the girls who stay smart—
Aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes in optical art
Wishing it would pass

Another long exhausting day
Another thousand dollars
A matinee, a Pinter play
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's—
I’ll drink to that
And one for Mahler

[FRITZI]
Here's to the girls who just watch—
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed, it's a bottle of Scotch
Plus a little jest

Another chance to disapprove
Another brilliant zinger
Another reason not to move
Another vodka stinger
Aaaaahhhhhh—
I'll drink to that

So, here's to the girls on the go—
Everybody tries
Look into their eyes
And you'll see what they know:
Everybody dies

A toast to that invincible bunch
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch!
Everybody rise! Rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!