Lack Thereof

We were in Spain and static
Time was so slow
But I was “insane” for having
Wished I was home
But I was closer than I’d ever been
That’s how I’ll remember it for us

I was acting erratic
Hard to rewire
But I’d been slowly remapping
Since ’99
And I was going off the empathy
It didn’t seem to handle me that well

Can I cheat my life (or lack thereof)?
Can I sleep next to me?
An about-face, my life is catching up
It’s hard to be honest enough
Had I been caring enough?

I was savage in Paris
Cruel to be kind
Dusty alleys and attics
A head to rewind
And it was hard to find the еnergy
Somewherе on the balcony I sunk

Can I just be?
Can’t you be honest with me?
Can I be more than I was?
I didn’t care enough