L.G. FUAD

Let's get fucked up and die
I'm speaking figuratively, of course
Like the last time that I committed suicide
Social suicide

Yeah, so I'm already dead
On the inside, but I can still pretend
With my memories and photographs
I have learned to love the lie

I want to know what it's like to be awkward and innocent
Not belligerent
I want to know how it feels to be useful and pertinent
And have common sense, yeah
Let me in, let me into the club; 'cause I want to belong
And I need to get strong
And if memory serves, I'm addicted to words
And they're useless
(In this department)

Let's get fucked up and die
I'm riding hard on the last legs of every lie
And the BMX bike of my life is about to explode
I'm about to explode

I'm a mess, I'm a wreck
I am perfect, and I have learned to accept
All my problems and shortcomings 'cause I'm so visceral
Yet deeply inept

I want to thank you for being a part of my
Forget-me-nots and marigolds
And other things that don't get old
Is it legal to do this? I surely don't know
It's the only way I have learned, to express myself
Through other people's descriptions of life
I'm afraid I'm alone and entirely useless
(In this department)

Let's get fucked up and die
For the last time with feeling, we'll try not to smile
As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the nights
That still shock and surprise

I believe that I can
Overcome this and beat everything in the end
But I choose to abuse for the time being
Maybe I'll win, but for now I've decided to die

Sister soldier, you've been such a positive influence
On my mental frame
If I could ever repay you, I would
But I'm hard up for cash and my memory lacks initiative
Goddamn, the liquor store's closed
We were so close to scoring, it hurts, it destroys 'til it kills
I am tired, and hungry, and totally useless

(In this department)