L.A. Money Train

Alright, everybody. We're here in Los Angeles in the wonderful Cherokee Recording Studios, and tonight we're gonna vent some steam and talk about this town
And hangin' out and jammin' with us tonight is one of the great guitar gods of our time, none other than the brother Wayne Kramer
So, Jason, are you ready?
Alright. One! Two! Three! Hit it!

Yeah, I wanna talk about the L.A. Money Train
Hollywood, California
The place where people come to make it
The train makes many stops on its route
And many try valiantly to get on

Like the rock star from Portland
Who works at the office supply store for years getting his hair together
Waiting for that train to stop and take him to fame and financial excess

And then there's the actress from Houston
Who's spend six years preparing for her big screen debut
By dancing naked on a stage
And ends up realizing her celluloid dreams by going straight to video
Co-starring in "Ten Miles of Tough Tongue."

Hey, it's work. You gotta keep working
You gotta keep working it
Some people will do anything to get on
Sounds pretty wild, right? All aboard, y'all
Yeah

Now what about that new visionary turned big spender
Taking all those musical genres and puttin' 'em in a blender?
The music check he makes made the critics get up on their little hind legs and exclaim:
"Now this is what's happening!" Ah!
It's just more crap from a culture that's evaporating
Stealing from here and there
He's on the cover of every magazine with his deer caught-in-a-primetime-limelight stare
Really cosmic
Pretending to be totally unaware as to what all the fuss is about
As the record company moves with ruthless efficiency and lightning speed
To attract every last cent from his listenership
Before they move on to real drugs, sex
And suddenly find his music one hundred percent unnecessary

You know the situation
Feel free to choose one or utilize any combination
You lose your job
You get your ass kicked
Your woman leaves you
You spend a night in county jail
Reality gets all up in your face and says:
"Hey, man, the rent's due."
And all of a sudden that Offspring record just doesn't do it for you anymore
Did I just say that? Man! So what if it's true?

Yeah, money train, money train
Just get on, just get on the money train, man

But, fellows, you know... You know we got brother Wayne Kramer here. So we gotta get outta the way, so he can step up and get into it. Alright, brother Wayne. You got it, man. Go ahead. Yeah

Yeah. Yeah

Alright, I wanna talk about some more people on the train
I wanna talk about some more people ridin' that money train
You know sometimes failure brings success and I got the proof
I heard about a man, who's ridin' on the train right now
Who got kicked out of the fifth floor window and landed way up on the roof
Right time, right place, good rap, nice face
We have the same analyst
Lose your integrity, sell your soul, kiss the right ** and up you'll go
From the lofty heights you're residing in
They look like ants and their flesh tastes just like chicken

Boy, if your friends could see you now
The ones back from the old town that you left to come out here to get on the money train
You know what they'd say? They'd say:
"Uh, were your teeth always that straight and white?"
Forget about it, man
As long as you're on the A-list you're in the mix, you're the man
You got the force, the power, the vision, the intensity, the focus, the drive
You are the master of your destiny
Sure to get what you want
Sure to get on that train
Sure to get on that train, yeah

You know, in this town
What you drive up in determines who you'll be driving home with
How you dress determines who you'll be undressing
Makes a man wanna get a nice car, cool clothes
And get in touch with his haircare products
On the other hand, you can always go to the video store
And see the guy who used to sell millions of records
And then snorted, drank and burned his fortunes
All he has left is the dyed hair, eyeliner, and attitude
The receding hairline, gut, and double chin only add to the visual intensity
And from him you can rent a video and watch his old girlfriend
Who's now your next-door neighbor
Do things that are definitely moving too fast for primetime
It's an option, yeah

Hey, Jim. I don't wanna leave you out, man
So if you wanna step up and get some, go ahead
Jim Wilson
Yeah

I get so tired of all the drama
I get so tired of all the drama
I get so tired of all the fakes jumping up and making it
Hard to see all the people who really believe in the soul power of music
Standing on the side and getting run over by those with pert breasts
Dyed hair and wonderful cheek-bones
So tired

At this point all I'd like is the truth
At this point all I'd like is the truth
I get so tired of hearing the stories of people who worked years and years
And their lives are nothing but pain and burning tears
Falling into their shoes as they wait on the boulevard for the bus
As the man with no talent drives by in a brand new BMW 540i, yeah

Disgusting
Disgusting on an epic scale
Disgusting like huge Godzilla-size disgusting
Obscene the way they go to the banquet
Obscene the way they stretch it out
Obscene the way they're so self-satisfied
As the real soul goes down the drain
As the one triple nine rolls over to the two triple zero
You'll see that the only heroes left
Are the ones who are wailing in the dust
Punching their fist to the sky
Still burning with soul intensity
As the smirking fakes just say:
"Whatever, man. It's cool."
Yeah, yeah, yeah

For years I've waited
For years I've waited for the real thing to come along
For years I've waited, for nights I sweated
And in all the small rooms I occupied, I thought to myself:
"It can't last for long. This façade can't stay up forever
Someone's gonna come along and knock it down."
Well, many tried and many fell away
Many tried and many left with nothing to say
And they were seen as losers
And they crashed and burned into the sea
Or went up north and vanished or slid back to the midwest
Or were burned and scattered in the south
Or smashed to bits by the brutality of the east
Yeah, yeah

Now I don't mean to sound like they beat us or anything
But sometimes I think it's all over
Sometimes I think it's all over
No more Coltrane, no more Duke
No more Monk, Jimi, Otis, Aretha, (**), or Sly
And no one seems to stop and wonder why
And I turn on the radio and it makes me wanna cry
Because I know it's never gonna come around again
And it makes me cry because I know that there's so many people
Who'll never get to hear Mahalia Jackson, Mississippi Fred McDowell
Lightning, Lemmon, Curtis, Marvin, and the Reverend Al Green
The airways are clogged and it's not looking good
In fact it's looking pretty mediocre out there
But I digress

You hear that saxophone player in the background?
Yeah, we brought him in so you could get a glimpse of my new found maturity
And still get a sense of my street credibility
He's a session guy, he doesn't even know my name
He's no fool, he's gettin' that session work
He's ridin' the train, yeah
Good work if you can get it
Just like a stuntman, just like a pornstar
Oh, wait a minute. He's an actor
Hey, man, what was your motivation for that last scene?

Yeah, yeah
Money train, money train
Sometimes I too wanna get on and ride just like you
Sometimes I'm just like you, man
I wanna get on and have a ride
I wanna get on and ride
And take these fakes for every penny they got
Yeah, yeah
Oh, and a, don't forget to keep it real
You always gotta keep it real
Ah-ha, ha, ha, ha! Ah-ha! Ah-ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Keep it real, man, yeah, yeah
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Whoo