Koi No Yokan

I had this dream of you that didn't come true
I've been clicking "delete", "remove", "rescind", and "undo"
But the room is on fire, it's twisting up through the roof
Plumes of smoke leading to a glistening blood moon

It threw my heart for a loop, it's like abusive drug use
The hole in my chest is just a hoop to jump through
It's so stupid.. and I worked nonstop to patch it
But during REM sleep my eyes were knocked off their axis

Had my body besieged, revolting thoughts
Can't seem to shake the feelings, their tendrils are holding on
Caught between awake and sleeping - lounging in the nexus
Down bad, dreams crushed, ground into a fresh mix

Felt sick, itching under all the costumes we had worn
And the fact you didn't want me made me want you even more
I know it's pathetic, so shove it, or throw it on the pile
You're droning on about it, but it's so ineffective, because

It's a premonition of love - and it's creating something sick
It overstayed its welcome and won't take a fucking hint
It's a premonition of love - that's not aware of what it is
With reckless abandon, it doesn't care if something sticks

It's a premonition of love - and it's shifting loose debris
An empire of dirt that I've been sifting through a screen
It's a premonition of love - and it's depicting you and me
Who knew a void this big would fit me to a tee?

I'm dealing with it, groggy, the cup is holding coffee
Feeling tilted, off balance, but, nothing's rolling off me
I'm hocking up flames, the pain's becoming artwork
My mind won't change, but it mutates into something far worse

I find those dates, get rearranged, inside the corners of my skull
Something hopeful in a place that's primed with horrors by default
The walls are thick, the ceiling's damp, the plumbing's been leaking
A healing hand is the fingers of whiskey numbing this feeling

I've been in denial, even though the matter's all but settled
Conversations with myself but didn't have the heart to tell him
A reflection with a red nose and strep throat coughs inside a fantasy
As the rest of his head floats off in spite of gravity

Grappling with the fact I'm still obsessed
But at least I hide it better, plus I haven't felt depressed
I don't break tradition, so can it, or add it to the list
You're drafting new prescriptions, and it won't make a difference, since