King of the Silver Screen

By day I'm a workin' man
Layin' bricks or layin' pipe
I don't stand out in a crowd
Just look like one of the guys
Little do they know
When I'm alone in bed at night
I become the King of the Silver Screen

I stare at the ceiling there;
I know where I belong
I two step with Fred Astaire or
Fighting old King Kong
I can be any hero at all;
Zorro or Don Juan
I know I'm the King of the Silver Screen

Hollywood movies keep flashin' across my mind
I could've been Valentino if I was born in another time

I might be solving a case or swinging from a tree
Share a joke with Crosby and Hope
We're such good friends, you see
Even dazzle the Academy with my versatility
'Cause I'm the King of the Silver Screen

Hollywood movies keep flashin' across my mind
I could've been Errol Flynn
If I was born in another time

I could've been a star
I could've been a star
I could've played that part
But Hollywood movies keep flashin' before my eyes
I could've been Greta Garbo
If I was born in another time

I wake the very next day
Go on back to work
I'm just a face in a crowd
Another average jerk
And all the guys on the building site look at me flirt
Because I'm the Queen of the Silver

Yes, I'm the Queen of the Silver Screen
I admit it to all my fellow workers
I don't care any more. I'm tired of closets
I'm gonna eat my makeup for lunch today
Just stop hittin' me again. All right guys?
I'm going to Hollywood to be a starlet
I know I'm 240 pounds and play center
For the Detroit Lions
I don't care any more
I like makeup and dresses and Hollywood
I'll make somebody a great little wife
"Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn."