Kids Can Say No! (video transcript)

[Film begins on opening titles, with the opening theme].

Opening theme – My Body (theme version):

[Chorus – Rolf Harris and children altogether]
My body's nobody's body but mine
You run your own body
Let me run mine

[Verse – alternate child solo spots and singing altogether]
My lungs were made to hold air when I breathe
I am in charge of
Just how much I need

My legs are made, just to dance me around
I can fly through the air
Swim, or roll on the ground

Your body loves you to pedal a bike
Our bodies move just
However we like

[Chorus – Rolf Harris and children altogether]
My body's nobody's body but mine
You run your own body
Let mе run mine

(My body...)

[Film opens on Rolf Harris and three children walking outsidе].

Rolf Harris: Isn't it good to be alive on a day like today? Good one, isn't it?

Children: Yes.

[Harris and children sit beneath a tree].

Harris: Have a seat there. Breathe that air. You feel it all over your skin. It's good isn't it? The sort of feeling, you want to give somebody a big hug – like that... [Squeezes Sophie's shoulders]. Or one of those little pats [Taps Nick lightly on face]. Makes you feel good.

Harris: And it's that sort of touching I wanna talk about today. Because it helps you understand the sort of touching that... doesn't make you feel too good. Um, could I ask you something? Natasha, who owns your body?

Natasha: It's my body.

Harris: Absolutely. But sometimes people... do things to one another – which don't make them feel good. Now, you know... You know the sort of touch that makes you feel good. Say – say you had your baby brother, and you're carrying him. And he's sitting on your hip. And you've got your arms supporting him like that. [Mimes holding an infant]. And he's got hold of your neck, and he's hanging on tight. And perhaps he's tucked his head in there. [Gestures]. And it feels – you want it to go on for a long time. It feels good. The... It's a 'yes' feeling. It feels really good.

Harris: And other touches gives you a 'no' feeling. It's like: "No – I don't know why I don't like that. But I'm not too sure about that at all. I don't want that to keep going. I want that to stop..." That's a 'no' feeling.

[Nick nods].

Harris: Sometimes a person can give you the 'no' feeling, without ever touching you at all. I'll show you what I mean. Let's play a pretend game. Sophie, pretend that it's your birthday. And you've taken all your birthday money. [Sophie nods]. And you've gone down to the cornershop to buy a present that you've wanted for a long time. And when you get there, you find you haven't quite gotten enough money. So you can't buy it.

[Scene changes to Sophie in a shop, cutting to her counting change at a shop counter].

Harris: Now... Let's pretend a man comes up and offers to give you the rest of the money. [Man walks into shot, facing away from the camera]. If you will let him take you home... What would you do?

[Cuts to the man sat down toward the camera, talking to Sophie].

Sophie: Well, he is being very nice, to give me the money. So maybe I would say yes. I don't want to be rude to him. Or hurt his feelings.

Harris: What do you think, Nick?

Nick: I don't think you should do that. You shouldn't take money from the stranger anyway. Even if you really want the camera. You can say: "Thank you very much. But no. I'd rather go home by myself. My mummy's waiting for me."

Harris: That's good. Tell him: "Thank you very much. But no."

Harris: Okay, how would you feel if he insisted on walking with you?

Sophie: Is that what you mean by a 'no' feeling? Well, if this man's a strange man, you shouldn't go off with him. And if he gives you the 'no' feeling, then go to someone who can help you.

Harris: Right. Well, who could help you?

Nick: Well, if there's a policeman there, he can help.

Sophie: Or I could go into the shop. And ask the shopkeeper to call my Mummy to come and get me. And if the man keeps bothering me, I can tell him to go away!

[Scene changes over, back to Harris and the children sitting under the tree].

Harris: That's right! Now, you don't have to worry about hurting his feelings – even if he is being kind. Because you don't even know the man. Alright? Just because he's a grownup, does not mean you have to do what he says. You could say: "Go away, please." Say it – try saying "Go away," very firmly.

Children: Go away.

Harris: That's good. Now see if you can get everybody, up and down the street, to see what's going on. Make it that loud.

Children: Go away!

Harris: No – make people right up there hear it. Okay?

Children: Go away!!!

Harris: You remember I just talked about a 'no' feeling. Well, I wanted to find out what makes 'yes' feelings and 'no' feelings, when you're touching or being touched. So we went to a school and asked some of the kids. Let's start off with the 'yes' feelings.

[Scene changes to a school setting, cutting to clips of various children as they explain their verdicts on what kind of touch makes for a 'yes' feeling].

Girl in gray sweater, brown hair and glasses: Well, I like it when my Mum comes home from work, and she's happy. And then she grabs hold of me, and cuddles me, and puts me on the settee. Yeah.

Boy in gray shirt, red hair: Um, well... Wh-When, um, my brother does it – it isn't really a tickle. It kind of hurts. But when my Dad does it, he flings me on the floor, and tickles me around the ribs. And it feels... All... It feels all shivery.

Harris [offscreen]: You enjoy that feeling? Is that a yes feeling?

[The boy nods].

Girl in a navy blue sweater, blonde hair in a ponytail: I like it when I'm on my Granddad's lap, and he's, um, picking me up and down, and... Like a horsey. [Harris laughs]. And, it's quite sweet.

Boy in a navy blue sweater, brown hair: And, uh, when I sit on my Mum's lap, it-it sort of tickles me, and um, feels nice and warm as well.

Girl in a navy blue sweater, brown hair in a ponytail: I like it when my Mum cuddles me at night. And tucks me into bed. And, uh... My Dad comes up sometimes, and I pretend to be asleep. Or sometimes I go under the covers. And go the wrong way round, so he thinks that I'm asleep.

Boy in a gray polo shirt, brown hair: I like it when they say to me: "That's good, you've done well at school. And they tap me on the head, like that.

Two girls, Girl A in a navy blue cardigan, and Girl B in a pink sweater –
Girl A: Well, we – we hold hands really tight...
Girl B: First, because we're lonely – we haven't got anyone else to play with. Just us two. So we, um, go... We hold hands, and go around and around. Until we get dizzy. And when the dizzy stops – we do it again.

[Scene changes back to the original location, cutting to Harris sat underneath the tree].

Harris: That reminds me of so many 'yes' feelings, that I'd forgotten all about. You all understand what I mean, don't you? It... Touching can be one of the nicest feelings in the whole world. It's like, picking up your baby sister when she's crying... [Mimes the action]. Does a lot more to stop her crying than just talking to her. A 'yes' feeling, it's – it's that feeling that makes you feel safe. And loved.

Harris: But the touches that still give me a 'no' feeling are when people – for example – put their fingers through my hair, and ruffle, so my hair goes like that... [Mimes the action]. I hate that. Or if somebody grabs it, and pulls it – as a joke. [Mimes the action]. Ugh. It's not a joke to me. I don't like it... When I was a little kid, I know, one of my uncles used to give me a squeeze. And then he wouldn't let me go. And he'd rub his face up and down my face. And all the bristles on his chin when he hadn't shaved were like sandpaper. He thought it was funny. I hated it. Can you think of some feelings – some touches that give you a 'no' feeling?

[Scene changes back to school setting, cutting to children giving their verdicts on what kind of touch makes for a 'no' feeling].

Boy in a light blue sweater, brown hair: Uh, yeah, when we were... When my Mum gives me a goodnight cuddle, she squeezes me far too hard. [Boy laughs and so do his friends].

Harris [offscreen]: And that makes you feel uncomfortable?

Same boy: No, yeah – well... From round the back she goes... [Mimes body squeezing action while giggling].

Girl in gingham dress, black hair: I like being tickled, when I'm bored. But when I'm doing something, and then my aunt comes in... So, she picks me up, she throws me on my bed, she starts tickling me everywhere. I don't like that.

Boy in a green t-shirt, red hair: When Bobby comes home, and pinches me like that. [Mimes pinch to the forearm].

Girl from previous school scene, in a navy blue blue sweater, brown hair in a ponytail: I don't like it when people tickle me under the arms.

Harris: Why?

Same girl: Well, I... I dunno. My Granddad always tickles me when I go in to see him.

Harris: Do you like that?

Same girl: No.

Harris: Does he know you don't like that?

Same girl: Yeah – but he thinks I'm only playing.

Harris: But you're not?

Same girl: No.

[Scene changes back to the same outdoor scene as before, cutting to Harris sitting under the tree].

Harris: I'm sure we have lots more 'no' feelings. But it is possible to learn to say "no", to people who are making you feel that way. You know, some people – especially grownups – they just don't listen. They don't pay any attention to it, they don't take any notice – unless you actually come out and say: "No, please stop." And, you know, sometimes... You're not quite sure whether something is giving you a 'no' feeling or not. But, it's alright to ask people to stop anyway. Remember our song – 'My body's nobody's body but mine. You run your own body – let me run mine...' Say "no" – you've got to learn to trust your own feelings.

Harris: Right. Enough of the 'no' feelings. Who can give me another yes feeling?

Sophie: I sit down, and cuddle my little kitten. And he cuddles me back.

Harris: Well, let's try and practice what we've learned about 'yes' and 'no' feelings. So, I'll tell you this next story. If something starts to give you a 'no' feeling, tell me: "That's giving me a 'no' feeling." Because I want you to learn to trust your feelings. And also tell me if it's giving you a 'yes' feeling.

[Scene changes to outside of a recreational building, cutting to the four children playing on a bench].

Harris: Okay, let's pretend that it's after school. And you're playing. And there's nothing much to do – it's a bit boring. And suddenly these big boys come up. And they invite just you four, to join their special club. And they say that they'll take you to their secret hideout. How does that sound?

[Two young men walk into the scene, and start talking to the children].

Nick: Like a 'yes' feeling. Because they didn't invite anyone else. And we could find a new place to play.

Harris: Okay. So far, so good. Now, suppose they say that if you want to join this big boys' club, you have to promise not to tell anyone else about it. Because if you do tell, the club's gonna lose its hideout. Now, Sophie, how do you think you're gonna get to that hideout – and still keep it a secret?

Sophie: I can promise not to tell.

Harris: Yeah – but what if they didn't want you to know either?

Nick: They can blindfold us. Just like Blind Man's Buff. Then we won't be able to tell anyone. Even if they ask.

Sophie [onscreen dialogue]: I don't want to be blindfolded!

Harris: If you've got a 'no' feeling, Sophie, don't go any further.

Nick: Me too. It feels creepy. I'm not going.

Nicky [onscreen dialogue]: I'm stronger than you are. I'm going ahead.

Natasha [onscreen dialogue]: Nicky, I don't think you should go.

Nicky [onscreen dialogue]: I don't care. I'm gonna keep going.

Young man onscreen: Right... This way. Come on, come on, come on...

[Cut to the two young men leading Nicky blindfolded, alone through the forest].

Harris: Right, well Nicky. Let's see what happens... Now, they lead you to a hut in the woods. And they take off the blindfold. And they say if you want to stay in their club – you've gotta take your clothes off, and play a game.

[Cut to Nicky walking out of the doorway].

Nicky: No. That's not right. I don't like that.

[Scene changes back to Harris and the children sitting under the tree].

Harris: So – what are you gonna do?

Nicky: I don't know...

Harris: First of all – tell them to stop talking like that. But if they go ahead and make you do it anyway, what can you do?

Nick: Like with the man at the shop. Tell him to go away. It's your body... And shout very loud.

Harris: Right. Whatever you do, don't try to fight with them if they're bigger than you. Just keep talking. Keep talking. Tell them to stop what they're doing. Tell them you don't like what they're doing. Tell them you want to go home.

Nicky [holding his hands on his ears]: So, suppose they agree to stop playing those private games. So long as we keep the secret – and don't tell anyone – otherwise they'll beat us up. And then what do we do?

Harris: Look... There are good secrets – like, like, keeping a surprise for a birthday party. But there are bad secrets. And they want you to keep a bad secret. So, if you're really scared that they're gonna hurt you: tell them anything just to get away safely. Tell them that you can't play now, that you've gotta go home – but tell them that you'll be back later. Tell them anything. But afterwards, remember that they want you to keep a bad secret. It's a secret that could hurt other children. Because they might play those same games with those other children. So you should tell your parents. Or tell, tell an adult that you can trust. Like your teacher. Or the school nurse.

Nick: But I think they really will beat him up.

Harris: The best way to be safe is to tell enough other people. You want to blow a whistle that everyone can hear.

Nicky: Yeah. Like when they set off a fire alarm. It's just like a fire – isn't it?

Harris: Right. You sound that fire alarm. Because you have a right to feel safe... Of course – the best way to be safe is to not go with them in the first place.

[Nicky nods].

Harris: Now, what we've been pretending so far, is about people that we don't know. But you can also get a 'no' feeling from people that you already do know. And it's... It's quite hard to say no to these people. Because you feel that you're always supposed to be nice to them. Or, at least, you feel you should do what they ask you to do.

[Scene changes, cutting to Natasha arriving at a suburban home, with a man answering the door].

Harris: Now – let's pretend, Natasha, that you've gone to visit your friend Jean. And when you get there, she's just gone out shopping. But her dad invites you in, to wait for Jean to come back.

[Cut to inside Jean's family home, with Natasha and Jean's father].

Jean's father: Okay, all good... Right. There you are. Like that. [Pours water over Natasha while handing her the glass, shown from her point of view].

Natasha [speaking offscreen]: He did that on purpose.

Jean's father: Ah, really clumsy of me. Oh, I know... We'll just, we'll just take this off. [Cuts to Natasha's face in the scene].

Sophie: I hope no-one ever tries that with me.

Harris: Right. But he is doing it, so she has to do something. [Jeans father begins to unbutton her top, while talking mostly inaudibly]. First of all, she should look him straight in the eye, and tell him to stop.

Natasha [speaking onscreen]: Stop that!

Nick: Yeah. Tell him to go away.

Natasha [onscreen]: Just because you've given me a drink, that doesn't mean that you have to take my clothes off. And I'll take it home to my Mummy to wash.

Harris: So, you're out of the house. What do you do now?

[Scene changes, cutting back to Harris and the children sitting under the tree].

Sophie: You have to tell your mummy and daddy!

Natasha: Sure, but how do I tell them? I've not had it happen before, so I don't know how to tell.

Sophie: You could say: "Mummy – when I went to Jean's house, her dad spilt a drink on me, and tried to take my shirt off. And he gave me a 'no' feeling.

Harris: Right. If it's hard to explain, you could always take your dolly... And you could use that to point out to your mummy where you were actually touched, where you didn't want to be touched. Or, you could... You could draw a picture. [Harris draws a stick figure in the dirt, using a piece of wood]. And you could point out on the picture, where you were touched. You mustn't be ashamed to tell people that you were touched where you didn't want to be touched.

[Nicky nods].

Harris: You know, sometimes you can get a 'no' feeling – even from somebody you live with. In your own house.

Sophie: I've been in fights with my big brother. He punches me in the tummy, and it hurts me. And even hurts my feelings.

Harris: That's one kind of touch you don't like – isn't it? Yeah... Let me tell you about another possible problem.

[Scene changes to a different suburban house to the last one. Sophie is standing outside, talking with a male family member (MFM) as a car drives away. The man's face is not shown throughout the scene].

MFM: Well, that's too bad, that you can't go swimming today, Sophie. But don't worry – 'cos I'll stay with you.

Sophie: It's just not fair. I'm not that sick.

MFM: Maybe we could do something special. Like, a bubble bath. And an ice cream.

Sophie: I don't want a bubble bath. I'm too old for you to do that now.

MFM: Don't be silly. We'll have a little game, that'll be our secret. Just you and me... If you want the ice cream.

Sophie: Well... Alright then.

[MFM takes Sophies ball from her, and puts his hand on Sophie's shoulder, leading her into the house. This is followed by a cut to Sophie in bed].

Sophie: Why did you make me touch you like that?

MFM: Because we love each other. It's our little secret.

Sophie: But I don't like it. It's not a good secret.

MFM: It's still our secret. And I don't want you to tell Mummy... Or anyone. If you do – I could go to prison. And that would be all your fault.

[Sophie tucks her head under the bed covers].

[Scene changes, cutting back to Harris and the children under the tree].

Harris: Did that give any of you a 'no' feeling?

Natasha: Yes, it did.

Nick: Me too.

Nicky: It gave me a 'no' feeling – a lot.

Harris: Why Nicky?

Nicky: I don't know. [Nicky shrugs]. It just did. Just a feeling... I wouldn't have liked it to happen to me.

Harris: That's right. You don't have to have all the reasons. It's enough to know that when anybody is giving you a 'no' feeling – you tell'em to stop.

Nick: But maybe it's her father. Or uncle. It's family – and you have to obey them.

Harris: Not if they're doing something that you know is wrong... Or even if you're not sure that it's wrong. Everybody – that's kids and grownups – they have a right to their own body. Don't they?

Sophie: What happens if she tells someone – and they have to go to prison?

Harris: Some people don't act right with kids. And they need help. You can't protect them from trouble that they, themselves, have caused. And it's better to say something. So that you and the family can get the help you need... You know, nothing gets better by keeping quiet about it.

Nicky: I have a friend with a problem, about touching. And he told the teacher. But, suppose the grownups don't believe kids.

Harris: That's a really big problem. Because sometimes grownups just don't listen to kids. Or, they don't believe you. They say: "Rubbish!" Or, they say: "How can you tell such lies, you wicked child?!" Or: "How dare you say something like that?!"

Harris: You've just gotta keep trying, and keep trying, until someone believes you. Just because it's hard, you mustn't give up. Keep trying, and keep trying, until just one person hears what you're saying... And you feel safe again. And remember – just because the person who caused it gets into trouble – it doesn't mean that it's your fault. You are the one who felt hurt in the first place. And you are the one who has a right to feel safe again. Okay?

Harris: Right, we've been talking about a lot of very difficult 'no' feelings. Let's talk about some 'yes' feelings – because there are a lot more of those. Who can give me another yes feeling?

Natasha: I get a 'yes' feeling when I lie on the floor, and my big sister scratches my back.

Nick: When I sit on my Granny's lap. And she reads me a story. She smells really nice.

Harris: Let's sing that song again. And this time, maybe it'll mean a bit more to you. And remember – most people want to help. So, if you can remember all the things that give you that 'yes' feeling... Then it'll help you to be able to say "no" to those people who are really bothering you, and giving you a 'no' feeling. Tell them to go away! And we'll get all our friends around us. And we'll sing a song together.

[Scene changes to a school or recreational building. The children are there with many others, and Harris is there with many adults including some police].

Musical segment – My Body (closing version):

[Chorus – Rolf Harris and children altogether]
(1, 2, 3, 4)
My body's nobody's body but mine
You run your own body
Let me run mine
(And again!)

My body's nobody's body but mine
You run your own body
Let me run mine

[Verse – alternate child solo spots and singing altogether]
When I am touched, and I know how I feel
My feelings are mine
And my feelings are real

Sometimes it's hard to say "no" and be strong
When the 'no' feeling comes
Then I know something's wrong

My body's mine, from my head to my toe
Please leave me alone
When you hear me say "no"

My body's mine to be used as I choose
Not to be threatened
Or forced, or abused

This is my body – it's one of a kind
I'm going to take care
Of this body of mine

[Chorus – Rolf Harris and children altogether]
My body's nobody's body but mine
You run your own body
Let me run mine

My body's nobody's body but mine
You run your own body
Let me run miiiine!

[Closing credits to end]