JusT WhY?

(Verse 1)

I'm getting yelled at for nothing I did wrong
Noise is extreme, talking middle of the road
Wanna jump into it, waiting for tires to squall
Even if someone's driving after drinking pernod
What I'm telling you is my personal monologue
Coz the outside of me is just fraud
On the inside's a barrier that couldn't petard
I look like a happy guy, but it's all a façade
Turn me around to find me with a fake smile
Coz I feel like crap in every moment, big ol' waste pile
Personally haven't felt good in a whilе
Waiting for someone to save mе like a video game file
Tryna plant foundation, then lay tile
But I have to watch what I say, people take it vile
Criticizing me for fake stuff, they might
I wanna feel better, but I can't turn the page, I
Feel worse than the moment that Bluey sat by the lil tree
After she figured out that her buddy, Jean Luc, leaves
Crying her frickin eyes out, I'm bawling
Falling into a dark pit, like the leaves
Tryna drag me down every time that I achieve
You have no idea how much negativity conceives
In my mind and dogs me like pet peeves
Someone steal these thoughts from me

(Verse 2)

I'm sitting alone, eating custard, remaining schtum
Should be animated, but over my head's a rain cloud
And no one asks me why I'm in gloom
Like that's gonna happen any time soon
I'm not taking any charity like a bum
I'll eat bread, but not from you, no crumb
Between 3 years, I lost two chums
It happened so fast that it got me in a slum
It got to the point where I just couldn't eat
I stayed up as late as I could because I couldn't sleep
I tried not to let it get the best of me so that I'd look complete
Dang it, I knew I should've beat
This "5 Stages" thing coz I felt like I wouldn't meet
The expectations and it's depressing, I shouldn't cheat
On this diet, so I'll starve myself until they pull the sheet
Over my head, well I gotta leave

(Verse 3)

Oh look, there's a shining ray of light
Brightness rising till the dark has faded from sight
So yeah, people can say what they might
But it'll go away like pain, alright
Done with the sadness, like a phone screen, I'll make more bright
Moments occur more often in my life
And step away from a Glock, bite
Down on the muzzle, not making a fight
With my dark side any longer, make the tears wiped dry
And make the decision to carry on and live my life
Hoping it doesn't take off and fly by
Third time's a charm, I'm lucky that it's the thrice try
I see something positive, playing "I Spy"
Something that's not numbing like pines
No pins, no needles, but I might lie
Down on the floor and think "Why did I ask 'just why'?"