John Laurens to Francis Kinloch, 10 March, 1775

Helas! mon cher ami, It is now my turn to make long apologies for my silence, but as my defence would nearly amount to the Pleas which you use in your Letter, and my Delinquency flows from the same Sources which you there point out, viz: the being of strenuously sometimes in Study, sometimes in the pursuit of Pleasure. I beg you to suppose my Excuse made, ask Pardon, and tho’ afraid to promise such a frequency of Letters for the future as is required to make amends, yet in my own mind I secretly resolve upon it. I thank you for that Language of gentle censure which your Letter speaks with respect to my Political Principles, and which is as much more grateful to me than distinguishing Praise, as pure Friendship is to be esteemed beyond delusive Flattery. Your advice would be good were the Justice of our cause more doubtful, or the danger of our Country less imminent, but when the latter is as alarming as the former is evident, every citizen is loudly called upon to exert himself there, where it is thought we can be more useful. My Youth and many other Defects exclude me from Senatorial Duty, but that youth gives a vigor and ambition which under proper direction may be serviceable in the Field. Believe me, my Kinloch, my opinion respecting our present unhappy Disputes, is not the ill-formed offspring of Partial argument, but results of a candid comparison of whatever has been offered by the supporters of the Government Prerogative on one hand, or the more popular edicates of Civil Liberty on the other. I think I see many errors on both sides, the Americans have certainly very much to blame in frequent Instances. Their complaints have been for the most part well founded, their means for obtaining redress often erroneous and unjustifiable. In the main point for which they now contend they certainly have Justice and the Principles of the British Constitution on their side. In any circumstances therefore it would be a crime not to share the fate of my countrymen. I should scarcely deserve herefore to enjoy those Glorious Privileges which they now contend for, and which their Bravery and Perseverance will I hope establish on the most solid foundation, if I should now stand neuter, and I am persuaded that if you felt same convictions your Sentiments and Resolutions would coincide with mine. I am not even midway advanced in my studies, being now but entered on the rudiments of a science, which is fit to me for the service of my country, if she think it proper to call on me, in public life, and perhaps on my own dependence for supporting a family. I have a tender parent, who would be grieved to see me return to my Mother Country without being properly qualified for both those important points, but I think his patriotic spirit, and I am sure my own feelings would disapprove of no sacrifice in the glorious service of my oppressed country. Why should we spend years in theory when so noble an opportunity offers for Practice? A late motion of Lord North's gives some hope of an accommodation—Heaven grant that it may be brought about—it will be for the interest of both parties. Our country is at present a scene of the utmost confusion, the Courts of Justice stops and every man thinking himself equal to a share in Government. Some who are but illy calculated to move in the most limited ministerial spheres unfortunately suffered to have a voice in the matters of the greatest Intricacy and Importance, in matters which require consummate policy and most unshaken Resolution. These errors I most heartily lament, but we must bear with these evils in order to avoid Greater, and hope that a few of the caste which I allude to above will be overruled by men of more respectable characters.
The New York Assembly you see has disavowed the proceedings of the Congress, here is the seed of dangerous dissensions amongst ourselves, if the Americans yield and basely submit, I almost wish to forget that I am an American; If they triumph over open oppression and the dangerous underminings of treacherous Friends, I shall glory in the name which will thenceforth raise the associate Ideas of brave and free. I have written more upon one subject than I intended, and have left myself no room for the number of other things that I had to say. Mr. Boon has communicated your plan of spending the summer with Vegobre in some convenient retreat in Switzerland, a plan which I should of all things like myself, and which I dare to say you will find great benefit from. I am sorry not to be able to write to my good friend by this post, faites lui mille amities de ma Part, and promise him a letter from me by the next. I sincerely love and am sorry that I am not nearer him. Adieu. Pray whenever you have a moment perdu employ it in writing to your most affectionate John Laurens.