jisatsu girl (自殺)

I feel like i am dead
Can't get outside my heaad my head
I feel like i can't move
Just dont know what to doooo
To do

I hate being alive
Slit my wrist i wanna die
Wish i wasn't such a guy
Stay inside like all the time
Life just feels like such a pain
I really hate everything
Motivation is so drained
And i really hate my face like
Oooo
Been so long since i have cleaned my rooom
Been so long since i have made my fucking bed
I feel so made fun of by all of my friends
And
I feel so degen
I wake myself
At 1 pm
I hate this life
I think of death
But im too scared
Of nothingness
Im not prepared
To leave this world
I wish i was
An average girl
Instead i struggle to feel real
Instead i struggle to see a life where i pay bills

I feel like i am dead
Can't get outside my heaadd my head
I feel like i can't move
Just dont know what to doooo
To do

I dont know why i try
Bad decisions i just cry
See incisions on my thighs
Next to prickly bumps of mine
Everything is strange
Why do i feel so much pain
My hair feels so disarayed
And i cannot feel okay like
I dont have like any power
Feel like my life is over
Only have me to blame
Throw on a skirt and
Run outside again
Embarrassing
Myself for hours
Feel ashamed my shitty mood
Ive fucked my life too soon
I know i’m not doing too well
I’ll end up a jisatsu girl
If i don’t grab onto myself
If i don’t lose my fucking mind without some help

I feel like i am dead
Can't get outside my heaad my head
I feel like i can't move
Just dont know what to doooo
To do