Jinxed In Jersey

[I. Too Far]

I asked the concierge if she'd help me
Find the best way to walk to the Statue of Liberty
She smiled and said politely "that’s too far!"
And gave me a number where I could call a car
So I thanked her politely and set off on my way
To find the New York that's not on TV every day

I started with some inner city grime
Lots of rusting barbed wire and corrugated iron
Along freeways where I was the only soul
Using Shank's Pony to get towards my goal
(I passed some bedraggled hippy, and I guess that so did he)

Peterbilts and Dodges, cheap hotels
Concrete bollards seemed to fit in, oh so well
For the Yorkshire kid in Jersey this is the perfect dream
You can keep your Empire State Building
’Cos this is more my scene!

It may sound stupid, but I thought....
That the hotel were were staying at was in New York
In fact it was on the other side of the bay
And so heading south from there made a very different kind of day
The one I was planning, was not the one I got

Advertising hoardings the size I'd never seen
Litter from forty years ago, at least that's how it seemed
But for the Yorkshire kid in Jersey this is the perfect dream
You can keep your Time Square tellies
'Cos this is more my scene!

[II. The Cop]

The first guy I met was a cop. He had a gun and he scared the shit out of me. He asked me what a guy from England was "Doing Here? Are you lost? You need to be on the other side of the bay!" Of course, his accent was better than that... turned out to be a really nice guy. He said something about "Interstate 9"* and then "Hooking a left somewhere near the intersection of..." two numbers, like "39th" or "51" or something, and then said:

"What kind of band is it?"

And of course, explaining this to a British Policeman is rather difficult (unless it's Brian Watson) but in this case he liked Rush. I guess I was gonna ask him how he knew I was in a band but then I wondered "Well how did I know he was a cop?" Apart from the fact that he was wearing a uniform and had a gun. Oh, and the car

"Oh everyone round here's got gun" he said in a change of accent "But if you stay on that sidewalk you'll probably be okay" And I'm kind of looking down at my Google Maps thing, thinking "God, I hope I can remember what he said!"

*Please don’t try to work out where I was, these are just generic American sounding road names to a Brit

[III. Six Year Train]

Four thousand traffic lights
Six million over bridges
And a train that goes on for six years
There’s aeroplanes landing at JFK and Newark
And "Everyone's got Guns" but have no fear
"Stay on the right road and you’ll be OK"
T.J. Hooker showed you the way!
And I'm fairly sure he passes me about 15 times in the next half hour

And between the pulsing arteries
A Church hangs on for grim death
I can't work out how people would ever get there
I'm walking through a Bruce Springsteen song now
Those tenements are here
The highways disappear
And I’m alone
In New Jersey

[IV. Jack the Rabbit and Weak-Knees Willie, Sloppy Sue & Big Bones Billie]

"Hey, I really like this painting" I thought to myself, looking down at this amazing piece of urban art on the pavement. And suddenly this voice goes:

"Hey Man, you like it?"

And there's four guys sat there on the steps of this building that looks alarmingly like the front cover of Physical Graffiti. And it's like somebody's playing tension music with a triangle going "ting ti-ti ting" and I'm fairly certain that my Mum would have told me to come over from that side of the road and stay with her. Anyway I said:

"Yeah, it's a really nice picture actually, I'm very impressed" To which of course I get:

"Where you from man? ... not from round here, that's for sure" So I go:

"No, I'm from England actually!" (Doing my best Hugh Grant impersonation)

"So what you doing this side of the water?" And of course I don't realise that I'm at any side of any water, but then you know, that's just the way it goes. So I said:

"Well I wanted to go and see the Statue of Liberty but I wanted to do it in a different way, I didn't wanna just go to all the touristy areas, I wanted to see the real place" And after that it's like:

"Hey man you want some weed? This is really cool" and I spent a good 10 minutes having a nice "chat" with them and then decided to go to a LIBRARARY (sic)

[V. The Library]

It's not like I was looking for a library, it's just that one happened to appear in a place where you just didn't expect a library to be. So I just thought "well, I've gotta go in" and I did, and it was full of people and they were all doing, er, library activities, reading things , er ... going on computers, so I decided to read the New York Times. And I did. It had an article about Brexit in it. They thought we were completely off our tits. And, er, I agreed with them

[VI. Liberty State Park]

It was late in the afternoon when I reached Liberty State Park. I was pretty surprised to find no-one there. The sunlight reflecting 'cross the windows on the water, like some fabulous jewel box had been emptied over the rocks of the Hudson. And as the soft Autumn light played down, I caught my first glimpse! More than 200 tons of oxidised copper and a torch of flaming gold - held aloft against the city skyline. The siren from the Staten Island ferry cuts across the bay and Ellis Island. And I realise that I've sneaked up behind her and she can't see me, or give me any welcome I went under her radar

I went behind her back

[VII. New Jersey Transit Authority]

[Instrumental]

[VIII. The View From Hoboken]

Hoboken sunset, and I'm still here
Wandering 'til my feet drop off
With my head in such good cheer
I hear Sinatra call my name
And see Joni's album come to life across the bay
No giant anacondas....
But today I got the point

Peterbilts and Dodges, cheap hotels
Concrete bollards seemed to fit in, oh so well
For the Yorkshire kid in Jersey this is the perfect dream
You can keep your Empire State Building
'Cos this is more my scene!