Jet Lag

I parked my Buick
Discovered my ticket was lost
And I had to fly "standby"
At twice the cost

And then the buzzer went off
At the security check
And the hands on my body
Left me with no
Self-respect

And now my suitcase don't fit
In the overhead
And the ugly blue stewardess
Wishes that I
Would drop dead

So I climb into my seat
Next to the screaming baby
Next to the big, big fat man
Who's trying to steal my tan
Oh I know I won't sleep
And I'll get

Jet lag
Jet lag
Yeah yeah

Now we're flyin' through the air
On this twenty hour flight
And my eyes can't seem to focus
And my head feels so light

And then the food tray comes around
And I eat like a pig
And the lady in blue says
Baby, you better slow down
You're eyes are too big

And if you think too much
Your brain'll start to drag
And you make it home to party
But your tail can't wag
Oh no, and guess what
You got

Jet lag
Jet lag
Yeah yeah

I'd stop this plane
If I could
The hands on my watch
Say you don't look so good
The movie ain't so hot
You know this lousy feeling
Is all I got

The plane lands with a thud
And I run to my car
And I tell my legs run faster
And they say who do you think you are?

So I call up my date
A September playmate
I gotta get myself together
No, I can't be late
She's so fine

And now she's kissing my ear
Says her clothes feel too tight
But as she moves a little closer
I fall asleep at the light
And she says, "oh baby, wake up
You got jet lag!"

Jet lag
Jet lag
Yeah yeah