Jesus Came to Tennessee

Jesus came to Earth today, smack-dab into Tennessee
Knocked upon my front door said, "Hey Will, remember me?"
I said, "Oh Lord please forgive me, but I ain't real good with names
"But your face looks real familiar. Wait a second, uh, is it James?"
And he said, "No, no, no"

He said, "It's Jesus - you know, the Son of God?" and I didn't realize
I said, "Man, I'm sure sorry" and invited him inside
Offered him a sandwich 'cause he was lookin' awful thin
And then I went and got nervous and said, "So Jesus, where you been?"
And he said "Heaven Will, I've been in heaven"

And then I saw him looking at a picture from my weddin' day
Of my wife and me and our one-year-old son. I said, "I guess that's not okay?"
He said "The truth is, all I care about is that you love and take care of your kids
"Remember I was born out of wedlock too, though some folks soon forget"
They'd soon forget

We just sat there talkin', watchin' the TV news
I asked him "Fox or CNN?" He said, "Will, I prefer the truth"
I said, "PBS, okay my friend" and we both had a laugh
But with the stories they kept showin', he started lookin' pretty sad
It was all war and death and hatred, poverty and greed
He said "The rich folks and politicians are sure startin' to get to me "What part of 'love your neighbor' is so hard to understand?"
I said "Don't take it too hard Jesus, let's just take a drive my man"
Take a drive my man

Hopped into my old Ford and went out for a spin
Drove past a military funeral where we saw these angry men
With signs that said that "God hates fags", Jesus said "Let me out"
Walked up to them all calm and cool and I heard one man shout
"Get out of here, you goddamn hippy, I can't wait for you to die"
And Jesus said "I already did" and then smiled and waved goodbye
Got in and said "Daddy don't hate nobody, that's an awful thing to say
"Plus, Daddy knows what he's doin': He's the one that made 'em gay"
God made 'em gay

I went back to drivin' and then I saw him shed a tear
He said "Y'all sure have made a mess of all the things that we gave you down here
"All this war and global warmin', no help to the sick and the poor
"I guess Daddy and I should just pull the plug, y'all ain't worth it anymore"
I said, "Woah! Jesus, Jesus, take it easy. I gotta pick my two sons up at three
"And if it's gonna be Armageddon, I think I'd like to have them here with me"
He said "Okay then let's go get 'em" and then we turned up the radio
And we sang along to old Merle Haggard songs as we rode on down the road
"Mama Tried"
Oh, Mama tried

Pulled up to the playground and Jesus said "Lookey there"
All the kids were runnin' 'round laughin', there was smiles everywhere
The white, the black, the Chinese, the short, the fat, the tall
Christians, Muslims, Jews and Atheists havin' themselves a ball
Jesus smiled and said "Well, maybe there's hope for you folks yet "Learn a lesson from your children and try not to forget
"And I'll call off this doomsday end of the world and I can go back home
"It gets wild when I leave Daddy and John Lennon up there all alone"
Oh yeah

I said "Okay Jesus, thanks for hangin'. See you another time"
And just like that he was gone and everything seemed fine
I yelled, "One more thing Jesus, could you help me write some hits?"
And in a big voice he said that "I will, if you quit writin' songs like this"
Amen