It Wasn’t Me

I know that you're upset
I know how angry you can get
When things like this occur
Oh yeah, I know
But give me just a minute
To explain the honest truth
And then I'll let you go

It wasn't me, it's not my fault
So I take your accusations
With a couple grains of salt
It wasn't me
I'm telling you
That if there's one thing that I wouldn't do
It's eat your last cookie

I know that you get pissed
When something happens from the list
Of things like this that tend to yank your chain
But I would never do this
No, I wouldn't eat your food
So, please let me explain

It wasn't me
I swear to God
I do not like eating cookies
And you know it, so it's odd
That you think I'm the one who did
Who went and opened the cookie jars lid
And eat your last cookie!

I know that those cookies weren't mine
And not eating this one was perfectly fine
And it's not like with my pretzels
Where what's yours is yours
And what's mine is yours
Just another one of our little wars
This time though you've crossed the God damn line

IT WASN'T ME
IT WASN'T ME
I mean it really fucking wasn't
So quit with the third degree
It wasn't me, I've had enough
Just forget the fucking cookie
'Cause it's not about the cookie
No, it's not about the cookie anymore

It's about the fact
You don't believe a single thing I say
It's about the fact
That I can't stand another fucking day in your presence
And so
I'm out the door