It’s Already Better Than OK

Would I go back? ask me would I go through all this again to be where I am now? go on, ask me...and all this wading through and lots of memories and emotions and feelings again to be where I am now? yes: yes would be the answer - hole-heartedly and heart-wrenchingly and yes would I move through all this wading and through this loft of emotions to understand how I feel now - this process of rationalisation and intellectualising of thought and remember she said feelings are facts....okay? and stop writing and stop making sense of it all; you never know anyway and you never stop using and that word is... picture yourself walking through this alone; where it leaves you is an unknown destination - I never really had a sense of direction anyway so ammm what am I saying? i am saying I believe in love and I’m saying I believe in solitude, I’m saying I believe in the newness of the self, of the regeneration of this body and mind - the regeneration of... (I believe in pain, also how cathartic the process is - I believe in sadness and desolation because what comes out is the truth) i’ve been trying to separate my head and my heart; I’m constantly failing but I’m failing better and what’s next and come on show me, and show me, show me: let me show myself it’s more
Like...with it! - this, this is the visceral part coming out