It’s All Been Downhill Since the Talkies Started to Sing

I break things by walking by
I accidentally hypnotize
Every single motherfucker
Locked inside the Newton branch

Worst bank robber known to man
Rob the bank, that was my plan
Didn't even check to see
Where the cameras were at

But I always get away
As if I planned it that way
There must be something radiating from me

And my actions make the money move
Though my sounds can't really soothe
It's all been downhill since the talkies started to sing

My grandma was a silent star
No words emerged from her famous jaw
At pre-code party
She brought a pile of printed cards

She'd rather hold them up then speak
She feared her voice would crack her teeth
And everybody knows
Just what cracking teeth symbolize

But she loved the silver screen
And her face in magazines
When she lost her fame
She ran off with a financial analyst

And her movements made the movies move
But her sounds couldn't really soothe
It's all been downhill since the talkies started to sing

Odd behavior of poltergeists
Insurance salesman killed by knife
Everything is game
Now that intertitles have bit the dust

The studio system's come and gone
The golden age has turned to bronze
If I could call cut
I'd leave those poor bankers alone
(you know I'd leave them alone!)

Because the logic found in words
Quickly becomes absurd
As soon as a light bulb shines
Through a celluloid strip

And to equate the two is wrong
But I do it all night long
It's all been downhill since the talkies started to sing

And to equate the two is wrong
But I do it all night long
It's all been downhill since the talkies started to sing

And then they started singing