It’s A Free World

I like Mrs. Britches
I go to Mrs. Britches
I eat at Mrs. Britches on a Friday for breakfast

There are only 7 tables
Flowers on the tables
And smokers at the tables on a Friday

Now you may think I'm jokin'
But some smokers when they're smokin'
Don't notice if you're chokin' or you're dyin'

There's this one fella Andy
A real chain smoker and he
Blows smoke right at me 'til I'm cryin'

I asked him quite politely
In fact I asked him nicely
Would you mind not smokin' on a Friday

Don't like it when I'm eatin'
Don't like it when I'm breathin'
Don't like it any where or any day

He told me it's a habit
I choose to have it
And you choose to come here on a Friday

So you're the problem, not me
And if I choose to rock me
You've got no right to stop me 'cause it's my way

'Cause it's a free world
Democracy and all that it's a free world
Laissez-Faire and all that and if industry can do it so can I

The smokers cheered him loudly
He lit another proudly
As for me I looked around me for a friend
I thought of world pollution, I though of evolution, I thought of revolution...
But I payed my bill and left

I though of Mother Jones
I though of Rosa Parks
Sojourner Truth and Rosa Luxembourg it's them I have to thank
Guerrilla folks have taught me if freedom you are wanting
If head on fights are daunting use the flank

So I ate corn on Sunday
I ate beans on Monday
On Tuesday leeks and lentils made a high day

I tell you I'm not jokin'
By Thursday I was floatin'
But I'm ready for the smokin' on a Friday

I sat down next to Andy
I smiled at Andy
He lit up, I let off a beauty

I sat and read the paper
And chatted with a waiter
And let my compass maker do it's duty

Beans are for pitching
Leeks are malediction
Sweet corn is for density and lentils for duration

The recipe's been tested
It hasn't yet been bested
Add cabbage for perfume and concentration

Andy he turns yellow
The atmosphere is mellow
The percussion section's way over the top

It soon put Andy's fag out
Andy hung the flag out
Andy choked and swore and muttered "stop"

I told him it's a habit
I choose to have it
And you choose to come here on a Friday

And if you don't like it
I guess you'll have to hike it
'Cause I'll fight for farter's rights until I die

'Cause it's a free world
Liberty and all that it's a free world
Selfishness and all that and if Andy can do it so can I

He changed his day to Thursday
I changed my day to Thursday
He changed his day to Wednesday, so did I

The waitress she was cheerin'
Her bronchitis it was clearin'
And she was volunteerin' for the Tuesday

I like Mrs. Britches
I go to Mrs. Britches
I breath at Mrs. Britches on a Friday for breakfast

There are only 7 tables
Flowers on the tables
And no smokers at the tables any day

'Cause it's a free world
Strategy and all that it's a free world
Crude comedy and all that but if I can do it so can anybody