​it really pissed me off when you killed yourself

[Chorus]
I spent two years tryna reconcile
As if it's possible to do so, I went through the trials
I'm fresh off bullet wounds and scars, love ones left on my body
Communicating ain't my strong suit, I guess that I'm sorry
Man, fuck that shit, I sent so many damn apologies to you
Green bubbles hit harder when I saw 'em come through (I'm sorry, the caller—)
Convinced myself you had an Android all along, call me insane
But it was easier than dealing with the truth

[Verse 2]
I ain't gon' lie like I don't miss you for a single second
But you ain't think before the knots to type a single message?
Hypocrisy, I know I'm spitting, yes, I need a lеsson
But since you're gone, man, who my tеacher? Hope you see me stressing
Thinking about you every second, yeah, that's what you wanted
I should've felt the narcissism from the first few punches
Do not talk family with me, I fucking hate the subject
What if I killed myself to figure out if I meant something?
You'd of told me I meant nothing
I used to say you were the best mother
And to this day I still try not to think much less of you
But it's not easy with you not here telling me to run away
From what I'm heading towards
I used to think I was the one that burnt the bridge, of course
But it's in my head now, super clear, how you were wielding torches
How you built me up and knocked me down, made me feel less important
How you tied that noose around your neck before giving me notice

[Verse 3]
Now it would only take two seconds just to hit me up
I'd probably respond too late, but you don't give a fuck
Sometimes I wish I was the one that found you hanging up
I keep calling and hanging up
I wish I had another chance to say I love you
'Cause at this point, inside my head, it's like, "Fuck you"
Thought I could trust you
Never been more wrong in my life, I wish it wasn't true

But I still break down wishing that it wasn't you (Get over it)
In my head, I been so alone, my thoughts are skewed
Can't deny, I been in this pain for at least two long years
I don't think they're ending soon
Might as well put the gun to my head and pull the trigger, I might get to see you
My dad keep telling me I'm wrong
He probably right, but I don't know if I wanna be here long
Yeah, I wish you could hear this, I know it would be your favorite song
Or maybe that's just my ego speaking, you know where I get it from, ask me what I do it for?
Yeah, it used to be you, but now I don't really know anymore
I could tell you the truth, but I know you're not there to hear it no more
And if you were here, you wouldn't wanna hear it, it would bring you
To the floor, I don't really care no more
You was finna leave me anyway, through me off the cliff as a featherweight
Don't act like it ain't take nothing, I don't went through it in a heavy way
Feeling naked running through the heavy rain, what the fuck was going on with my brain?
They wonder why I made headaches, shit, I was really truly going insane-ane

[Chorus]
I spent two years tryna reconcile
As if it's possible to do so, I went through the trials
I'm fresh off bullet wounds and scars, love ones left on my body
Communicating ain't my strong suit, I guess that I'm sorry
Man, fuck that shit, I sent so many damn apologies to you
Green bubbles hit harder when I saw 'em come through
Convinced myself you had an Android all along, call me insane
But it was easier than dealing with the truth